Having diagnosed depression for 14yrs but probably suffering with it for a lot longer I like most people with this illness have contemplated suicide, thinking that everyone will be happier and better off without me. I just recently lost my father, not to suicide but more than likely to natural causes. I was not close with my dad and have very few happy memories of him, the last time I saw him he asked which of his children I was, I have 2 sisters and 5 brothers. So needless to say with all of these factors I never thought his death would hit me very hard, but it did I was unable to function at work when I told them I would need to take time off for his funeral, then I had to take the next day off to be able to get my thoughts together. Some may say it is so hard for me because of my depression, but regardless of the reason it hitting me so hard it has made me realise that commiting suicide may not have the effect I thought it would, which is making everyone happy. I think I have come to realise that no matter what you or anyone else make think of a relationship and no matter how badly you were treated or if you still talk when you lose a family member it is always hard for the ones left behind. I know the grief won’t be this bad forever and my life will go on but I defiantly do not want to make any of my loved ones feel the way I do at this point in time.

Posted anonymously, 7th July 2016

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  • Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad that in this period of grief and loss that you have had a realisation that you matter. I’m sorry you are going through such pain but you can never underestimate the effect you have on the world and those around you.


  • I can sympathize with you. You father’s death would have made it amost for you to function at work. Normally you are allowed 3 days leave following a death of a immediate family member. My thought is that your dad may have lost him memory which happens as we age, some develop Ahlzeimers or Dementia. For a lot of people close to the loved one who passes away, the grieving process is sometimes about 12 months. Friends of those left behind forget that we need support for a few months, not just a few weeks then forget about us.


  • I think you realized something absolutely amazing there. There are people that love you. Keep them close to you as much as possible.
    And I am so sorry about your father.
    I wish you a life full of positive thoughts.


  • An amazing message. Thank you. It gives us all something to think about.


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