I was 18, and pregnant, engaged as it was the right thing to do. I hadn’t felt my baby kick all day. I metioned it to Mum, and we went to the hospital to be told there was no heartbeat. the next day I was induced and gave birth to my stillborn daughter, I was devastated.

Years later, new careers, new relationship. I married at 30. I wanted kids at the same time as being terrified. I let it go for a while. Finally it became too much. I so desperately want to have a child. I was now 37. We tried for 6 months, with no success. Drs tests, specialists and a laparoscopy revealed I would be unable to concieve without IVF.
1st round of IVF was emotional. Tried so hard not to get my hopes up, not to mention what the drugs did to my hormones. We got one embryo impanted, fingers crossed, and it failed.
We saved more money and tried IVF again, they doubled the dosage of medications, my hormones went through the roof, but we got twice as many eggs, 5 embryos were ok. One was implanted, fingers were crossed again it failed. But this time there was hope as we had 4 more embryos. I rang my nurse and was told none of the embryos survived. I was a mess.
We then found out my mum had Cancer, so we decided babies should wait. We focused on Mum,we almost lost her but she survived, she kicked cancers butt. Thank goodness. We then decided perhaps fate intervened and we weren’t meant to have babies andI was so sad but thats where we left it.
My Mum started to recover slowly, I ended up in hospital with a stomach bug, that they thought was a urine infection, a week later I was sick in the middle of dinner. The next day I took a preganancy test and got a positivwe result. I took 2 more tests and they were all positive. I couldn’t believe it. We were excited, but I was also scared.
The first ultrasound revealed a sack with no heartbeat. OMG how cruel can life be. I had to have a another ultrasound 2 weeks later. Finally we had a heartbeart. I was pregnant, without IVF.
It was the longest 9 months of my life. extra ultrasounds to monitor everything, extra heart monitoring. Finally I was booked for an induction. Induction day came, I was so scared, I was induced at 7am, by midnight the labour hadn’t progressed. I said well I';m going home, My obstetrician decided a c section was to happen right then. Lets go I said. I was so calm, yet terrified, terrified my baby wouldn’t be ok. Finally I was cut open and my daughter was born alive. I could not stop crying with joy. I was 39 years old. I didn’t sleep I kept checking to make sure she was breathing. I could not believe my dreams finally came true. They truelly did. I now have a happy healthy 2 year old that I will never take for granted she is an absolute gift.
I will never forget my angel baby. She would have been 23 this year.

Thank you for reading my story. Remember even when it all seems to much, miracles can happen

Posted anonymously, 13th April 2015

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  • Well this had me in tears :)
    What a lovely story to share.
    its so true that sometimes we think there is no hope and our life is just not going where we had hoped. We look at our future and think its just not going to be anything like we had hoped…but all of a sudden things change and when we look back its amazing.


  • That was a beautiful story. The most awful thing in losing your first baby but your resilience in carrying on with life and having to make really tough decisions especially with your biological clock ticking away. The body is an amazing thing, how it can take over and get on with its job when you leave it be. I am so happy for you, this baby is very blessed and I am sure you will have a wonderful life. You have the experience you need to keep getting up after any knockdown. Good luck to you.


  • Thank you for sharing your story. What an emotional and trying journey you had. Miracles do happen, we just need faith.


  • I am so glad for the birth of your healthy girl.


  • What a long and difficult journey you had! I’m glad you have a little daughter with you now. I guess you will never forget the bad experience you had when you were 18. Your first daughter will always live in your heart. Thanks for sharing this emotional journey!


  • what a story – it has brought tears to my eyes. so glad that you managed to have a healthy little girl. it was a miracle baby. :)


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