I was 18, and pregnant, engaged as it was the right thing to do. I hadn’t felt my baby kick all day. I metioned it to Mum, and we went to the hospital to be told there was no heartbeat. the next day I was induced and gave birth to my stillborn daughter, I was devastated.
Years later, new careers, new relationship. I married at 30. I wanted kids at the same time as being terrified. I let it go for a while. Finally it became too much. I so desperately want to have a child. I was now 37. We tried for 6 months, with no success. Drs tests, specialists and a laparoscopy revealed I would be unable to concieve without IVF.
1st round of IVF was emotional. Tried so hard not to get my hopes up, not to mention what the drugs did to my hormones. We got one embryo impanted, fingers crossed, and it failed.
We saved more money and tried IVF again, they doubled the dosage of medications, my hormones went through the roof, but we got twice as many eggs, 5 embryos were ok. One was implanted, fingers were crossed again it failed. But this time there was hope as we had 4 more embryos. I rang my nurse and was told none of the embryos survived. I was a mess.
We then found out my mum had Cancer, so we decided babies should wait. We focused on Mum,we almost lost her but she survived, she kicked cancers butt. Thank goodness. We then decided perhaps fate intervened and we weren’t meant to have babies andI was so sad but thats where we left it.
My Mum started to recover slowly, I ended up in hospital with a stomach bug, that they thought was a urine infection, a week later I was sick in the middle of dinner. The next day I took a preganancy test and got a positivwe result. I took 2 more tests and they were all positive. I couldn’t believe it. We were excited, but I was also scared.
The first ultrasound revealed a sack with no heartbeat. OMG how cruel can life be. I had to have a another ultrasound 2 weeks later. Finally we had a heartbeart. I was pregnant, without IVF.
It was the longest 9 months of my life. extra ultrasounds to monitor everything, extra heart monitoring. Finally I was booked for an induction. Induction day came, I was so scared, I was induced at 7am, by midnight the labour hadn’t progressed. I said well I';m going home, My obstetrician decided a c section was to happen right then. Lets go I said. I was so calm, yet terrified, terrified my baby wouldn’t be ok. Finally I was cut open and my daughter was born alive. I could not stop crying with joy. I was 39 years old. I didn’t sleep I kept checking to make sure she was breathing. I could not believe my dreams finally came true. They truelly did. I now have a happy healthy 2 year old that I will never take for granted she is an absolute gift.
I will never forget my angel baby. She would have been 23 this year.
Thank you for reading my story. Remember even when it all seems to much, miracles can happen
Posted anonymously, 13th April 2015