I am 36 years old. My husband and I been married for almost two years now. My husband has full custody over his kids, and there are four of them. The oldest she’s 22 years old, second to the oldest he’s 20 years old, third to the oldest he’s 15 years old and the youngest is 13 years old. Plus, my husband brother’s son who is also living with us and he’s 12 years old. To be honest, having step-children is not easy and it’s a hard job. You do your best everyday and at the end you thought you did a good job. But to them, its nothing. No appreciation at all. But hey! I knew he’s got kids before I married him. My family never wanted me to marry him. But I love their father and I told myself what these kids need is a mother figure and so I am willing to do everything to give them that no matter what. My friends and family told me its too much for me and I can find someone better who can give me a better life. The ex-wife is alcoholic. There are some nights she would come over to our house drunk late at night and wakes us all up, even our neighours. I haven’t receive any christmas, birthday or mothers day gift from any of the children ever since i married their father. I haven’t miss any of their footy game since I came into their lives. Do my best to make sure they have all they need especially for school. Make sure the house is clean and their clothes are clean too. Never miss any of their birthdays, always make sure they all have birthday cake. I even write their mom’s birthday on our calendar so they won’t forget their mom’s birthday. I hardly dine out even to movies or go out shopping for myself, because I always make sure their school expenses, footy expenses and theres food on the table for them to eat are paid first. We have our ups and downs? Ofcourse! To be honest with you, I get nothing out of this marriage except tiredness and sadness. But this is my challenge to all the mothers out there! Someday, these kids will find a job, get married and have a life of their own. These is all due to my endurance, perseverance and sacrifices! Its all because of this thing called “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”

Posted anonymously, 15th January 2015

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  • Sounds like you are a wonderful person and doing a great job with the kids.
    I must admit that the part of your story that worries me is where you say “I get nothing out of this marriage except tiredness and sadness” …. I know its hard when you have love in your heart for the children and its tempting to stay for their sake but if you are not getting love and support from your husband and hes giving you nothing …well you have to remember that you are important too and if your marriage gives you nothing but tiredness and sadness then it might be time to pull your husband aside and explain to him how you feel and hopefully he will lift his game and be more loving and attentive. its also important to teach kids what kind of man they should be/should have as a partner.


  • You are an amazing person to be young and take this all on those kids are very lucky and being young they won\’t realize until later what you have done for them and they might be feeling down because it\’s you doing it all for them and not their own mum I\’m sure they speak about you to their friends and really do appreciate everything you do for them


  • I am a step child and believe me you are and will be appreciated. It won’t be easy and at times you will feel like they don’t care but they do. Unless they are the worlds most awful uncaring kids. You are awesome. My stepmother and I are close she couldn’t care less what my brother and sister think of her. She loves my dad and that’s what matters and this week my dad had quadruple heart bypass surgery and its only because she was with him and got him to hospital that he’s alive and with us today. I love my step mom more than my own mum and hopefully other step kids can relate cause there are good ones :-)


  • And its (step)mums like you that show children there are nice people in their lives, even if it takes them many years to realise this


  • Being a matyr is not good for developing independence in children/young adults. At least 2 of your step-children are young adults and should be contributing. You do them no favours by giving up everything for them. Take some time for yourself and your husband.


  • Thats too early for her. Next time, she will ask for a car from you guys when she turn 10 years old. Just make sure you give her things which are appropriate to her age, that way she will act and behave according to her age. Gifts are simple of love, sometimes we just have to make sure that we are choosing the right gift for our loved ones.


  • I could almost cry reading that & yes UNCONDITIONAL LOVE but can you express to hubby how some treats ( Mother’s Day, etc ) would really be nice? Maybe really get into the swing of certain days like Valentine’s Day, etc so it becomes a common thing at home for everyone to be treated ;-)


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