So my boyfriends younger brother came to live with us a month ago and I’m having issues with leaving my one year old daughter with the brother. Not that there’s problems or anything but I just don’t trust my daughter in his care and I feel bad because his a great uncle and I know he loves her and his always playing with her but I always and secretly make sure I can see them both when they’re together. I haven’t spoken to my boyfriend about this because I know he’ll be upset because his very close with his brother and completely trusts him but when my boyfriend is out working and I’m at home I never leave without my daughter even if I’m getting the mail. Even if my daughter is in the other room with the brother I always call out to her and make sure I can hear her and if I can’t hear her I’ll check on her. There’s been times where my boyfriend wants to leave my daughter home with the brother when we were going out somewhere but I’d refuse and call my mum to pick up my daughter or drop her to my sisters but I just couldn’t bring myself to allow her in his care. It’s because I read of articles that pedophiles can be the very people that are close to the family and I don’t know the brother well so I kinda see him as a potential pedophile. I know it sounds cruel but I was wondering if anyone has or is going through this? Is it normal to feel this way?

Posted by trishoet, 2nd July 2014

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  • You need to look carefully why you feel this way – is it a feeling against all men? or this one in particular? If it is general then it is likely to become a problem for you and your daughter.


  • if it doesn’t feel right trust your feeling and don’t ever leave her there must be a reason you feel this way. not worth it your daughter must be your only concern


  • great exellent


  • I think you should trust your instincts and do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Dont question your own feelings.


  • I think as a mother your worries are valued. Would rather come off as possibly offensive than put my child in a at-risk situation, regardless of whether its an imagined one. If it’s a gut instinct thing for yourself I can only highly recommend going with it, I’ve mostly come-a-cropper when I’ve disregarded my gut instincts.
    It’s a hard situation to be in but I’m sure you’ll keep making the choices that are best for your child.


  • I think you need to sit down and work out if they are excessive concerns or you have read to many horror stories. If you think the risk is real then it is time to have a hard chat with your boyfriend, if you work out you have been reading to many bad things about men and children I think again you need to let your boyfriend know what is going on in your head before it causes issues between you both


  • I think if you have these kind of feelings towards him i wouldnt of let him move in in the first place you should of been honest and upfront with your boyfriend, and told him the way you feel about his brother when hes with your daughter.


  • From what you’ve said, it sounds excessive… But if you have any reason to feel uneasy about him, I’d continue to be careful. Don’t let yourself be scared by what you read if that’s the sole basis of your concern, though.


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