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I came back from my Mum’s house late wed. afternoon and since then she has had 3 falls even with her walker her legs just go and I spoke to her on the phone after I got called about it and she also had a stroke and was hard to under stand. The thing is my Mum has never been the type to say I love you not even in a card when we were little…we would get happy birthday Bonnie from Mum and Dad
Well that last day there I was sitting with Mum letting him know around when I would be heading home and Mum yelled out I love you Ricky and aslo while I was there she would hold my hand and tell me she loved me and aslo said she things she will go like Dad and her heart will give out and I just changed the convo. I gave her Mother’s day presents to her early as she could not get warm even thou she had flanal sheet on her bed and doona as well as a crochet blanket that I doubled to make it warmer and she was still cold so I gave her presents early so we could put the mink blanket on the bed as well. So since I have come home I am now every night sleep walking and being aggressive to Hubby when he tries to put me back to bed and while I am asleep I am talking so hubby says to my kids and grand kids my Mum and my cousin and last night while once again on a sleeping walk tripped over and hurt my self badly I am covered in bruises and I have never walked in my sleep before in my life. Now I never really accepted my Dad dying and have always said I watched getting lowered into the ground I never wanted to see that the grass has grown over that was 16 years ago and I had to be the strong one for my Mum and kids so I had to suck it up. Mum’s plot is reserved beside my Dad’s. I honestly feel mu Mum was taking the chance to say her good byes to me just in case and making sure I knew she loved me. I am all ready starting to panick as I can see Mum wasting away from the cancer which causes other problems and am not ready to let her go and am not ready to see Dad’s plot either Hubby has been so worried about me he had a chat to our GP yesterday about it as it all started that night I come home from Mum’s and I am worried that this time I won’t be able to suck it up and instead go to a place that scares me and that is not being able to control my self. Hubby told me that even our GP whom has known me for coming up 20 years is very concerned about how I am going to go when the time comes. it may sound morbid but that is all I can think about know is what will I do with out my Mum as I no longer have a Dad and it is really scaring the shit out of me…I am even blubbering while writing about this and if Hubby goes to bed before me he is doing hourly checks on me since speaking to our doctor….so I feel I don’t know the whole story as to what went on yesterday. It’s time like this I really do treasure this group as I can say things with out any smart arse comments about how I am feeling and as of tonight after speaking to my Mum vomiting has started as well. Yes I am a person who like to be in control of things and I am the one who fixes every thing so my kids or Hubby don’t have to worry. I am know for saying leave it to Mummy or leave it with Nanny and I with fix it some how but my Mum was slurring so bad I had trouble understanding her and I can’t fix it for her. All I have been able to do is sleep from being sick and crying while awake and just hoping it’s all for nothing and my Mum will pick up but she live in alot of pain all the time but I still want to be selfish and don’t want her to ever leave me


Posted by arcticwynta, 16th May 2014


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  • I hope she is doing better. It’s not selfish, mums are the best thing so to want her around is totally understandable.

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  • That’s so sad :,( But you know she loves you. I’m not sure how I would cope in your situation. It’s really hard to let go of loved ones. It’s ok to be a little but selfish and want get to keep living. I’m sure she’ll hang on for as long as she can

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  • Its not selfish to want your mum around i hope it gets better

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  • I am so sorry to hear your sad story but I’m glad you heard your mum tell you she loved you. I hope you have more quality time with her and the doctors are able to treat her. Please seek out support for yourself from your doctor or a counsellor during this very stressfully time also.

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  • so sorry to hear your mum isn’t doing to well, my mum passed away 5 years ago and i miss her terribly every single day.
    Hoping all is ok with her now and at least she is in the best place at the moment the doctors will do all they can to help her.

    You just have to remember that when the time does come never bottle any feelings up always talk to someone.
    My thoughts are with you

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  • You poor poor ladies. I feel for both you Bonnie and you ArcticWynter. Words can’t take away either of your pains or stress. I wish for God to be with you both and guide you through this very sad and trying time.

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  • I just got a phone call from my Daughter my Mum has just now been taken by ambo as she is vomiting badly and her heart kept spiking, I really hope she gets threw this

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