I know this is a very personal issue for many parents and I understand this is all based on their unconditional love and support for their babies. I get that, but do you remember a time when someone told you something and you thought ‘pfft, that would not work for me?’ I know I do, and I’d be willing to bet my car on the fact that you have too. The most important thing and the very issue at the heart of this great debate are the children. Your children and their children! I remember my very first day as a nanny, of course I’d met the family and the children but I still had made up my mind that I was hired help and they were the rich family off to get richer. In hindsight; how dare I!!! This family turned out to be one of the most down to earth, children focused, appreciative families I have ever met, and trust me I have met a lot. I realised a couple of weeks into my work that this family share so much, and learn so much from each other. The children would be so excited when their parents came home and vice versa. I educated the children through the day and had play dates with other nannies and mothers too. And on weekends the children got to do it all over again with their parents. I worked very closely with my families on what they wanted their children to be taught and what specific behaviours they wanted worked on and embraced. While I was busy helping them out through the days, both parents were at work earning money to ensure a fantastic life of good schooling, world travel and beneficial extra curricular activities. All of which would be shared with their parents and their nanny.
Now now, I can hear all the at home mums and dads thinking well that great, but am I suggesting that these things don’t come from stay at home parents too? Absolutely not! I 100% support at home parents just as much as I do working parents. I am simply trying to navigate a debate that seems more about ‘whose way is the right way’ to a more pressing issue and that is ‘is your child happy’? If you can answer this with a yes, then whose business is it to tell you otherwise? The most important thing is that your children are getting the attention, love and care that they need. I have seen one mother, who I now know very well, in tears at the judgments she suffered from colleagues and friends about how she should be parenting. She is such a loving and devoted mum and it made her incredibly dejected knowing that her parenting was suffering such scrutiny.
Final note – Don’t judge someone on their choices if their choices are in the best interest of their children. If their choices are not in the children’s best interest and you positively know this, direct your concerns to someone who can actually do something about the situation.
Posted by beckyjco, 26th April 2013