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I am a single Parent, Have been since I tested positive on the pee stick and its been okay since then. My son and I have our ups and down but always seem to get through. When my son was 17 months old we were having a bath together. I hopped out to get changed in the adjoining room and left him in the bathroom. I wasnt gone for long when I went back in and he was floating on the water face down , I freaked out, I screamed. I hauled him out of the water and performed CPR.. wasnt long and he starting coughing and spitting up water. He then started making a very horrible strangled scream which I will remember forever. I rang for the ambos and then I rang my parents.. They got there first and helped me with my son. I was in shock, I was shaking and crying and my son wouldnt stop moaning. The ambos showed up and took my son quickly into the ambulance, I jumped in too. I quickly told them what happened and they put a breathing mask on my son.. we rshed to the hospital and the doctors took him away.. I barely got to see him for over an hour, My parents got there after the ambulance and tried to console me.. but what was there to say. I had made a mistake and my son had paid the price. I finally got to see my son, there were soo many people in the room and he was hooked up to soo many wires. the doctors were rushing to see if all the water was out, it wasnt. My son kept coming to and then would pass out again. The doctors rang for the medical helicopter to fly him to The royal childrens hospital. I wasnt allowed to go in the helicopter with him :(, There wasnt enough room. So I gave him his special teddy and told him I loved him. Once he was wheeled away My parents rushed me home to get some studd then we drove as fast as we could to get to melbourne.. it was a long drive, the longest of my life. I just kept on praying that my baby would be okay. We finally got to the hospital and when i got to where my son was I stopped dead. thee were tubes everywhere and he looked so small. The doctors came up to me, they told me they had to put him into a medically induced coma as his body needed time to fight. they told me if it wasnt for my wuick thinking giving him CPR he would have survived this far. they told me I was so brave to have done that , and all I kept thinking was that it was my fault he was like this. He has tubes in his nose and throat, in his side, to let the water out of his lung, drips in his arms for a lot of different drugs and a catheter to help with his fluids. It was late and my parents had to leave. I said goodbye then sat down next to my son and held his hand.. as the days passed there was no sign of the infection dying down. his lungs looked awful. he had scans everyday to check brain function. I was assigned a social worker and the police came from my town to take my statement as to why he was left alone , he then started to get better and they decided to start to take him out of the coma.. that took days as they had his body on a certain temperate coolling mat and had to slowly warm him back up. Throughout all this it was just me at the hospital with him.. everyone i knew lived to far away or could only stay for so very little time. But one morning at 6 am (a week after we got there) I was woken from the bed in the room i had been given telling me that he was awake, I rushed down and it was true my little man was finally awake, he was very weak though and had to be fed through a tube. as he recovered, the tubes started to be taken away and we were moved into the children’s ward and out of ICU. But then came other problems, his fingers on one hand were curled and he wouldnt straighten them, same with his leg.. he looked like he has some nerve damage and we got a physio to come in and help. I was devasted , I may have got my little man back, but he might not have all his functions. But slowly day by day I helped him to eat, sit up, stretch out his fingers and the slowly walk. we spent Christmas in the hospital and I brought hims soo many presents, My parents came and visited a couple of times and then we were finally able to go home. we had been in the hospital for 18 days. Once home we were assigned a social worker to check over us week to week and things slowly started going back to normal. Skip to a few years down the track and My son is a healthy 4yr old boy But in the last few months my son has been having the worst tantrums you could ever imagine. hits kicks, throws toys, trashes everything and anything he can find, screaming the whole time. if he cant hit me he hits himself or bangs against the wall. The tantrums are unbelievable and can happen over the tiniest of things. me saying no, him being overtired. basically just not getting his own way.. he starts screaming and I end up yelling and I feel awful, like the worst mother out there. I need help, I am almost at a breaking point and I dont know what to do. Im not sure if this behaviour is in any way linked to his time in the hospital, the doctors said that later in life he could develop things like behavioural problems ect.. but at daycare or with other people he is the perfect little angel.. with me he is the devil child. I want my amazing little boy back and I fear that if he pushes to much I might break down. we both need help and I just dont know where to start. Can any mummas point me in the right Direction? xx Thankyou for reading my story

Posted by beccawarriner, 4th September 2013

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