I have an 18 month old daughter and my husband and I have been together for 12 years, married for 2 years. When my daughter was born, my husband took 6 weeks off work and was very supportive. He would get up with me for night feeds, change our baby’s nappy so I could go back to bed and was very helpful during the day. I used to joke that if my husband had boobs, I wouldn’t have spent any time with our daughter.

Then we went on a family holiday to stay with my best friend for two weeks in another state. It was our first family holiday and we had a fantastic time. Once we were back home, he seemed to change. He stopped spending time with my daughter and I. He would spend more and more time out in his shed and in the garden. He stopped helping around the house and would prefer to play games on his mobile than play with our daughter. He seems to have a short temper with her and gets annoyed with me. He says there is nothing wrong, that work is stressing him out, but I just think there’s more to it. I’m not sure what to do or what to ask him because whenever I bring up the subject, he just says it’s about work and then changes the subject or goes quiet.

I know he loves me and he loves our daughter and I knew having a baby would change our relationship, but I never knew it would change in this way. I’ve said to him, that if he doesn’t want us around, to just tell me. That there’s no point in me and our daughter living with him, if he doesn’t want to spend time with us, but he says he wants us here, but he doesn’t make me feel that way.

I hope this stage passes and we can go back to the loving, caring relationship we had, but at the moment I can’t see that happening.

Posted by mothergoose, 26th April 2013

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  • See if you can get him to talk to somebody he trusts about his situation. Maybe if he is able to talk to somebody in confidence he may come to terms with the situation and work something out to solve the problem one way or the other.
    Maybe you should take up a new interest and see if that helps at all. If he doesn’t to spend the time with you why not have one of your friends over or arrange to go and visit a friend even though you’ll probably have to take the baby with you. At least you will have an adult to talk to.


  • hope it all worked out for you gal


  • Oh dear! I hope it was just a stage and things have improved.


  • Hope that this stage has passed and everything is back to normal or even better for you now.


  • Even if he won’t go and see a therapist, it might be an idea for you to. It sounds as though an outside voice might help you navigate a way forward, but I wish you the best of luck.


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