When I fell pregnant it was a shock, we hadn’t planned to have a child and children weren’t in my life plan. I just didn’t have that maternal instinct that so many other women seemed to have. I knew from the start that I was going to struggle because I have a mental illness. I had to cease all of my medication cold turkey and was medication free for the entire pregnancy. As unstable as I felt, I knew that I could never forgive myself if something happened to my baby because of the medications that I took. When I gave birth the connection was instant and then it wasn’t. Everyone went home and I was left with a tiny being that depended on me for everything. I couldn’t cope and I hated that I couldn’t stand to look at this tiny person who depended on me. I wanted to give up, knew that I couldn’t. I cried all day, unable to bring myself to do even the basic of things. The doctors that I saw didn’t see the signs, I knew them all too well. I was in a slump and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wish that I could say that things have improved..I really do.

Posted by tegan.c, 7th August 2013

Post your story
  • I really hope that by now things have improved.


  • not like the others


  • really nice


  • It truly does take a while for things to come good. I lost a lot of friends when I moved before giving birth to my daughter & didn’t find the friends I have now until 2 years ago.


  • What a sorry state to be left in, I hope that it has gotten better for you or at least you have support around you


  • Don’t give up stay strong x seek some help and if you can not do it please foster your child out if you need a break


  • Tegan I hope since you wrote this light has come.


  • i understand how that can be i myself never planned for children and also have mental illness


  • Are you back on your meds now? I was first diagnosed with a mental illness at 10, but wasn’t medicated until after having my second son. Big hugs. don’t give up and make the medical people see what you are going through, don’t let them brush you off.


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