So many people have issues with their ex so I want to post a positive story about how sometimes you can end up being better friends than ever after a break up. In 2010 my ex and I split up. In 2011 I met my now-husband and ex and I were divorced. During this time we had ups and downs however there are a few things that I noted that were really positive.
a) We are always willing to spend time together so that our children can still benefit from a loving relationship with both of us. We spend most of the children’s birthdays together. He comes over for dinner a lot. My husband and I often stay on the Friday night that he has the children so that we can help him get our son to swimming on time saturday morning. Sometimes after that we will go out as a family for a drive or something. We are all taking them to QLD for a Holiday at Christmas time and we will be spending time together there too.
b) We go to medical appointments and medical procedures together so the children benefit from having mummy and daddy there.
c) When things are getting us down because of our girls neurological conditions we always turn to each other. You see, my girls have a fatal condition and it is genetic which means my ex and I were carriers (one in 500,000 chance of that happening). Not many people understand what we are going through. Yet neither of us feels embarrassed about calling each other when we need to “talk” about it. Because at the end of the day we know that no one will understand how we are feeling more than the other parent even if we are not together.
Aside from my husband, I think I am closer friend wise to my ex than many others in my life.
Part of what made this so much easier was getting a parenting plan done so we knew how other other felt, getting Child Support Agency to take care of the financial side of things so we didnt have to talk about money anymore AND the most important thing is that everything we do, we do it because it is best for our kids. They are the first and foremost of our lives.
When relationships end it is hard to forget the bitterness, but the end of the relationship does not mean the end of the “bond” when there are children involved. When you put them first, sometimes things can become more amiable than ever.
I am pleased that my ex and I have such a good parenting relationship because the children benefit so much from having mummy and daddy willing to spend time with them (including holidays) as well as step-daddy. I have never seen them look so happy as they did last weekend when we took them for a drive in the country before we came home and watched TV all together and had a nice dinner.
Posted by clarebear1983, 17th August 2013