I believe that its vital and healthy that the role of a mother change during the course of her childs life. This I write from my own experiences of growing into an adult and to becoming a mother. I now have three boys and a fourth on the way. My eldest is in year one and my youngest still in the womb. I live with an anxiety disorder and have reflected often on motherhood and the way in which I was raised in comparison to the way I choose to raise my children today.
When children are young it is a mothers instinct to protect and nurse that child. However as that child grows, develops and matures the role of the mother must change to allow for the childs independance. As a child I was completely stifled. My mother was an ‘over protective’ parent and her protection took things to the extreme. I was never allowed to do things like learn to ride a bicycle, attend childrens birthday parties without my mother, attend sleepovers or answer a telephone.
At 15 years old I was allowed to begin answering telephones but had no sense of independance. My mother used to walk me to highschool which was a 5 min walk from our home. As an adult I struggled to break free of my mothers apron strings. Not being able to help your children grow and mature into adulthood is not healthy.
I believe that its important for the mothers role to change and adapt through the course of a childs life. Its fine to want to protect a baby or very young child but as the child grows we need to as mothers evaluate our parenting and think about what we are doing to help our child today become tomorrows adult. I’m not saying to be silly and give too much independance to a child too young to handle the responsibility but I think its an important issue to highlight.
As mothers we leave a lasting imprint on our children and the things that we say, do, allow or not allow all have an impact on the way that our childrens thought processes will turn out later in life.
Posted anonymously, 2nd July 2015