Hello!

14 Comments

I believe that its vital and healthy that the role of a mother change during the course of her childs life. This I write from my own experiences of growing into an adult and to becoming a mother. I now have three boys and a fourth on the way. My eldest is in year one and my youngest still in the womb. I live with an anxiety disorder and have reflected often on motherhood and the way in which I was raised in comparison to the way I choose to raise my children today.

When children are young it is a mothers instinct to protect and nurse that child. However as that child grows, develops and matures the role of the mother must change to allow for the childs independance. As a child I was completely stifled. My mother was an ‘over protective’ parent and her protection took things to the extreme. I was never allowed to do things like learn to ride a bicycle, attend childrens birthday parties without my mother, attend sleepovers or answer a telephone.

At 15 years old I was allowed to begin answering telephones but had no sense of independance. My mother used to walk me to highschool which was a 5 min walk from our home. As an adult I struggled to break free of my mothers apron strings. Not being able to help your children grow and mature into adulthood is not healthy.

I believe that its important for the mothers role to change and adapt through the course of a childs life. Its fine to want to protect a baby or very young child but as the child grows we need to as mothers evaluate our parenting and think about what we are doing to help our child today become tomorrows adult. I’m not saying to be silly and give too much independance to a child too young to handle the responsibility but I think its an important issue to highlight.

As mothers we leave a lasting imprint on our children and the things that we say, do, allow or not allow all have an impact on the way that our childrens thought processes will turn out later in life.


Posted anonymously, 2nd July 2015


Post your story
  • So true – you need to nurture both to keep safe and foster independence.

    Reply

  • Great story and something to consider thanks

    Reply

  • An amazing article that I really enjoyed reading. Thank you!

    Reply

  • Very profound and well written.

    Reply

  • Wow, what a wonderful article. I have definitely reviewed my own trending patterns of parenting, and adapted them, particularly in the last year or so to allow my child to grow up being more independent.

    Reply

  • This is very true, we need to adapt our mothering to the child as they grow, they do need to learn to be independent. I was very lucky that my mother allowed me and my brother to become more and more independent as we grew. I hope that I am allowing my daughter the same at the right time for her.

    Reply

  • yes even the technology debate makes me a little annoyed. A lot of people don’t want their children to have access to technology or phones etc for fear of what the child will come into contact with. I think that you have to teach your children about these things. The world has changed so much from when i was a child and technology is the way of the future. You will only be giving your child a boost into the world by allowing them to interact with tech. It will always be here in some form or another and by denying children access, they will find ways to access it without your knowledge.

    Reply

  • Thanks for all the supportive comments! Its great to be able to put something out there and feel validated and that you are doing the right thing for your children :-).

    Reply

  • Your mother does sound over the top.

    Reply

  • Children crave and need independence and their self esteem grows! Learning to let go and let them make mistakes is so important as they need to learn about the ups and downs of life.

    Reply

  • I think your boys are very lucky to have a mum who is aware of their development and changing needs and who will work to be the person they need at the time they need it.

    Reply

  • yes i think that there has to be a balance and you have to protect them by educating them!

    Reply

  • I have never thought about My role as a mother changing, but you are right it has and it should. My daughter is only 2.5 but yes I had to let go a little at home and let her have some independence and sometimes when out too.I

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join