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I have always been a big believer on paying it forward… Supporting your friends when you need them, and spoiling them with love and support even when they don’t particularly need it. That’s what a good friend does. But really, how many times can a person get let down before they begin to feel as though it is not worth it?

I feel like I have been a good friend. When times have been tough for my friends I have been there… To help with their kids, be a shoulder to cry on, to help them plan, organise, clean, cook, and most importantly just to listen when they needed support. But when I finally needed this in return it seemed they were nowhere to be found. Why is that? And why does it hurt so much?

Is it selfish for me to expect something in return for the kindness I have bestowed upon others? When is enough enough?

Real friends are the ones that are always there… When times get tough they don’t need you to kick and scream for attention. They just know you need them. And they know how to help you without it being a burden on them. The last thing I would ever want is to be an inconvenience when people are happy. But I don’t think it is unreasonable to help a friend in need.

I will continue to pay it forward… By it can be frustrating when you look around and nobody is taking care of you.


Posted by haldem337, 18th June 2013


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  • You know who your real friends are in your time of need and those so called friends who don’t bother!

    Reply

  • There is only so much you can do. Some people just take others for granted!

    Reply

  • reading these stories are great

    Reply

  • Pay it forward; but don’t let others take you for granted.

    Reply

  • If your friends are repeating the same mistakes, maybe it’s time to stop helping

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  • I know, I’ve felt rather this way recently – particularly about one or two people who got a lot of help from me in the last few years, but were suddenly unavailable when, for example, my husband asked if they could babysit for two hours so he could go to the hospital and find out why I was in intensive care after having our daughter. Saying “why don’t you ask your family?” when she knows we don’t have family was really not kind.

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  • Don’t let other people’s lack of care, consideration or compassion affect how you live your life. Paying it forward is the best thing to do, not because you want anything in return, but simply because you can do things for others. I know it’s hurtful and disappointing when others don’t feel the same, and aren’t there for you when you might need them, but it dies indeed show you often who your real friends are. Also, some people do get very wrapped up in their own lives, and problems that they’re having, and they often don’t realize that you’re in need of help or support, so sometimes you’ve just got to come out with it and say “Hey, I need a hand, can you help me please?”. My favourite saying, about performing Random Acts of Kindness, and Paying the Favour Forward is “We should all plant some trees that we’ll never seek shade under”.

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  • I’ve been in the same position as you. I try my best to be a good friend, help people out and do all the right things. After a really bad car accident I was really surprised at the lack of care and concern and help from some of my so called friends. It did teach me though who my friends really are, and while I still pay it forward like you do, I don’t get taken for a ride anymore.

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  • I agree. As mothers we put everyone else’s needs above our own, but we need to start looking after our own needs first because we can seem invisible to others who just seem to take take take. Treat yourself to a date night with yourself. Do for yourself what you would have done for others.

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  • I absolutely understand what your saying. I too believe in paying it forward and treating those as we wish to be treated so yes it can hurt when those around us are not there for us……..but one thing i have learnt is apart from my husband and immediate family, you cannot rely on anyone

    Reply

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