Today I would like to share with you a little story about myself.
I’ve got a 12 years old daughter that I adore. She was born with IVF after four difficult and expensive years of infertility treatment. After she was born, I tried IVF other two times, using my cryopreserved eggs. The first time it functioned. I was pregnant with twins. I was so happy. I always wanted a big family and I thought the pregnancy would have been as sweet and delightful as the first one. I was so wrong. I lost them both and the day I got the curettage, was the most painful day in my life. When I felt better, I tried for the last time. We had decided that there was no more trying. Sometimes you have to accept what you’ve got and appreciate it, putting an end to your dreams. I patiently waited for the results and they were negative. That was the end. We had to accept it. The journey had been very tough. Our money was gone and my mind was a mess. I could not stand uncertainty anymore. I think that was the hardest part of being in infertility treatment. Not knowing what would have happened, putting my life “on hold”. Fight with sad feelings when I saw how easy it was for other women to get pregnant. My husband was very supportive and was ok in stopping, even if deep in his heart he was hoping we would have been able to try again one day. Then I started to have physical problems. Suddenly some fingers started to become black, hard, and so painful. When I noticed the same thing happening to one toe, I decided to go to a doctor that immediately diagnosed me with vasculitis, a self-immune disease. I started taking medicines and checked my antibodies regularly. Luckily, after one year or so, the antibodies were gone. But that first self-immune attack, made me more prone to other self-immune illnesses. One year and a half ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto thyroiditis. Who knows which other illnesses I will get growing up. I guess I will have to live with uncertainty again.
Well, maybe what I’m realizing is that uncertainty is part of our life. We have to learn to cope with it, live the present, try to put our past to rest and not worry too much about what will come in the future. Because most of the times, the worries do not become reality anyway! And if we are strong inside we can face better the difficulties in our life. There is nothing certain. Just that we will die one day. Let’s appreciate uncertainty thus and then maybe we’ll all live a more peaceful life!
Have a nice day everyone!
Posted by mom90758, 14th April 2015