3 year ago me and my partner had a pregnancy scared (the condom broke). waiting for my period to come, i as freaking out as i though we were to younger we just got together a month ago, he also had a daughter from his last relationship. but by the time my period come i was really wanting to be pregnant and so did my partner, but sadly i wasn’t so we though we would start trying. 3 months after i fell pregnant was over the moon but sadly 9 weeks later i found out i had lost the baby at 8 weeks. i was heart broken it hurt so bad to loose something you never got to hold or see.
after another 3 months i fell pregnant again so happy but really scared this time ill loose it, at 7 weeks i did loose it and become really depressed and went to the doctors were he sent of tests.
The tests came back and to my horror it was my body that was making me miscarry. i got told i have a trans location chromosome were 2 ( 8 and 21) and trades parts and that i have a high chance of miscarry every time i get pregnant.
after another 3 months i got pregnant again 3rd time lucky ( i hoped)
i got really happy when i got to 11 weeks were i had to go in for a needle in my tummy to check the baby chromosomes, i was so happy i though that this was it, i was gonna have this baby but sadly i got a call a week later saying that the baby wasn’t gonna make it and to come in for a d&c i was heartbroken once again going in to that op and coming out of it was the hardest part they told me that the baby had died 2 days ago before the op.
feeling really depressed by now i though ill try again , and i had my 4th pregnancy this time i only made it to 5 weeks .. i stop trying for a year because i started getting really depressed and wasn’t doing me any good.
ive started trying again the start of the month and i have not yet gotten pregnant im so worried im not gonna be able to and it scares me so much i cant afford an IVF so i have to go though the pain and loss of loosing baby’s..
im lucky to have my step daughter now tho so fingers cross that this year i can make her a big sister.
Posted by liana shattell, 25th March 2014