Only you can make the best decision for you and your child, there are a lot of keyboard cowards out there. Ask advice but be sure to be ready for the responses!

At the end of the day, each family has to do whats right for them. Sometimes we may not know what’s the best solution, but we are only human after all. Also, I think its OK to judge, at home and not to spread the judging where it becomes mean.

I put my both children into childcare hey they hated it but after like a month they were so happy to go which made me feel less guilty

And now I am judging myself if I should send my kids to vacation care during this pandemic. It’s awful having to work and wondering if you are doing the right thing by your children.

It is hard. I think a lot of women can naturally be very bitchy. I’m not sure if it’s a defensive act or one of jealousy, but it increases life’s difficulties. I try not to be a judgey mcjudgey, but I gave no doubt that I’ve been exactly that

In my experience its the people who have zero experience of childcare that are most vocal about how terrible it is.

I don’t know why people feel the need to judge as they never know the full circumstances. Although I know I do judge – myself particularly more than others – I never speak it or put it on social media, I know its my own insecurities surfacing.

Never had the childcare problem but sending one of my son’s off to prep, pre school had me wondering if I was doing the right thing. It was tears each time plus the teacher said I had to stay there until he settled, which he was not doing. Ended up with my husband taking him one day and leaving him there. It was only a three hour session in the afternoon each school day. We were trying to get him prepared for school where he would be there all day. We had lived in places where there were not many people around.

Everyone has their own reason as whatever works for their family you shouldn’t judge. None of anyone elses business.

I’ve worked in childcare for decades and have only come across a handful of children who couldn’t settle. 99.9% of the children love their learning environment, and it is just as much a little social outing for them as it is for us to visit our friends. Even the children who cry when mum walks out the door settle very quickly once their attention is directed to fun activities. Mums and dads enrol their children in childcare for a number of reasons and sometimes the decision is made freely and sometimes because they have no other option because they have to work. I always said to my young colleagues “never judge a parent until you have children of your own and understand the decisions parents have to make for the well being of their children”.

Ahhh the old SAHM vs working Mum debate – it always brings up a debate bursting with critique and unnecessary (as it’s all personal and circumstantial) justifications from both sides.

There will always be differences of opinion and judgements. We just have to try and avoid the negativity.

No-one should judge because you don’t know the circumstances and everyone is different. I personally WANTED to go back to work because I didn’t know anything else and went back part-time when my girls were 6 months old (I was a young mum and had both of mine by age 26) I didn’t NEED to go back I chose to for my own personal reasons and was lucky enough to have my MIL be able to look after them while I was at work. In saying that if I didn’t have help I can’t comment on what I would have done but if I was to have a child now at 35 I would want to be a stay at home mum because I am more settled now and would enjoy it more.

Everyone’s living their life differently. You shouldn’t judge people without knowing the full story.

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  • • Mum2archer replied
    • 05 Jan 2020 , 2:20 pm

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  Exactly. I cant stand judgy people who think they are better than everyone else

You shouldn’t judge someone else at all unless they are doing something harmful/dangerous to their child.
You cannot judge someone based on one question either! Who knows the situation? That’s why this mum asked in the first place.

In terms of doing the right things etc I think it comes down to how is the child once you have left? If they’re screaming all day etc then maybe alternatives need to be looked at.
My son goes to day care one day a week so I can have a break. I’m a single Mum and he does not see his dad so that my time to reset refresh and get some stuff done without a toddler whinging at me and making everything take 5x longer than it needs to lol
And he loves going and is learning so much.
You have to do what works for you and your family and fuck the haters.

It is amazing how the ones who are often doing the judging are the ones who pull others up for doing judging.

I find it really sad and so isolating that women are bitchy like this…… You don’t know the workings of someone else’s family so “You just do you boo!!!!”

I remember the first day she started Pre school as I was walking out the door all I could hear was her crying when I went back in the afternoon to pick her up she was so happy and asked can I go back tomorrow hahaha

I know this mother’s pain – my daughter hated to go to childcare… she cried from the time she got up til the time I dropped her off and I used to have to pry her off me and walk out. The mummy guilt was bad but I had no choice but to work so that we could make ends meet. I was told by the childcare workers that the second I was out of sight she was fine and when I used to pick her up she never used to want to leave ? Go figure. You have to make a decision asked on your households needs and sometimes it is hard.