I think you are very much rushing things and its not for one person to decide these things. If you want to have a GOOD relationship with someone then you need to start discussing things before acting on your own. Joint decissions are part of a relationship. You acted like a single person.

I think she might have been a bit hasty. It’s a very awkward and personal situation and she should have perhaps had a chance to meet them first, without her son, and then maybe approach them and ask what they’d like to be called.

Not a good move for a first time meeting of his parents. It would have put him in an awkward position and shocked his parents. You needed to take baby steps. I hope you can rekindle your relationship with him and take a different approach. I think you should be the one to apologise to his parents first and foremost for assuming you could place that heading on them and then to your boyfriend who was probably just trying to get through the first time introduction of you and your son to his parents. Try contacting him and making time to sit and discuss the situation with him, but your apology is crucial and could be the deal-breaker with your relationship to him and definitely with his parents. People need time to get to know each other before they get tagged with titles they are not ready for yet.

Wow! I’m sorry but that’s just so irresponsible of you. How confusing to your child if something happens and you split up. There goes his so called “grandparents”. Way too soon to do anything like that especially on the first meeting and that’s something that should’ve been discussed with the boyfriend’s parents before hand. Don’t agree at all.

Especially not on the first meeting. Tensions probably rose in the room!

That is super awkward and I don’t think at all appropriate

Way too soon and without consent from the partner and parents. I can see why everyone was uncomfortable.

Sorry, but you are the one who needs to apologise. That was a big no no.

Probably a good idea to communicate more. This is not an unsalvageable relationship – they just need to talk.

I think you should have spoken to your partner first and his parents to make sure they were happy to have those titles and that they were happy to be called that. One you haven’t been together long and 2 some people use different names for these things. Also his parents may not want to play that role even if he chooses to play the father role.

Way too much, too fast! You’ve only met these people 3 times and this is your son’s first time meeting them. You aren’t married or even engaged. I can totally see why they were uncomfortable with it. I understand that you did it with the best intentions but try and see it from their point of view. Maybe its you that needs to apologise?…

Ooh, yeah I do think that was totally inappropriate and not the right time. I would think this required much discussion before doing this to her son.

I do think she was wrong. She should have talked about it first, not only with her boyfriend but also his parents. There are a whole load of assumptions that come with “grandma and grand-dad”, and she shouldn’t have made them.

I don’t think it was out of line, a little weird… yes. I definitely think they should have had a conversation about it first, but I don’t see it reason for the family to be upset at her about.

Is your son calling your boy-friend ‘Daddy’? If he isn’t then why would you introduce his parents like that? And obviously he isn’t for the parents to not realise that the relationship is a solid one. Think you may have lost this relationship now because of not thinking clearly and talking about this to your friend first.

I think she should have waited and yes it was out of line. How awkward that would have been. What if the relationship broke down, the poor kid would be so confused.

Probably a bit too early to be calling them that

You really should have spoken to your boyfriend about this first and asked what they would like to be called. I would have just introduced them as Jay’s parents. It would have then been up to them to decide what they wanted to be called. Hopefully you have a chance to make things more comfortable for all concerned

How odd introducing them as grandma and grandpa if you’ve only met them less than a handful of times. She should have discussed it with her partner first to see how he felt about it. 18 months isn’t a very long time together. I personally would have waited.

Probably not the best way to introduce him to them but hopefully it all becomes a funny story one day. But when does it become the right time for someone to be Step-Dad, Grandparents etc. I guess that is all a conversation prior that needs to be had.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 01 Dec 2022 , 5:45 am

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  I like your positive outlook on this situation.