It does sound like she just became pregnant to make her partner happy and she wasnt ready at all.
I was a Mum of two girls and had always wanted a boy so when baby number three came along I hoped for a boy. When I went for the scan they could not find bubs kidneys. I had to wait 2 weeks for them to redo the scan with the knowledge that if there were no kidneys the baby would pass away. The longest 2 weeks of my life. I prayed for a healthy baby and no longer cared what sex it was. It was a girl with two kidneys. Perfect.

She really sounds like she is behaving like a brat. What did she think pregnancy would be like? Did she not do any research? Yes, it is inconvenient. I had carpal tunnel for half of my pregnancy with my daughter. There are lots of inconvenient symptoms and yes, you will look bigger, hence the person growing inside of you. As I have always said, if you think that you will be disappointed if you don’t get the gender you want, don’t have a baby. There is a 50% chance of either.

I’ve never agreed with the gender reveal idea. My son and DIL didn’t want to know their babies (they had 3 girls). My son was always bragging about living in a house full of females. You do need to speak to someone about your thoughts or it will bring you down. How do you know you would feel any different if you were having a boy? Don’t let anyone berate you for your feelings but also don’t let yourself be bullied. Hope you find some answers to your feelings

Lesson number one to survive this day and age as a parent: do not post your inner most thoughts and feelings.. the internet is not a safe place for that. Being a mum is the most overly scrutinized profession in the world, and society seems to feel entitled to judge us at every interval. Gender disappointment is real but it’s deeply personal. And inviting outside opinions is a rookie mistake. Mums, you’re the pilot. You’re in charge. There is little to no point in seeking the approval of externals. Just do you babe!
By all means, discuss with your doctors, your midwife, partner, what have you. But this subject will never be well received and met with kindness on the internet. I sincerely wish OP all the best with her journey. I believe one day this will all be behind you. You’ll have a handsome son to look after the precious daughter you might still have yet to come, if you’re going again?!

I think the fact that parents can now find out the gender of the baby they are having is the biggest problem here. Knowing the gender of a baby before it is born shifts the focus to the baby’s gender and makes it less likely the parents will focus on not caring what gender the baby is as long as the baby is born healthy. It also makes the mother, and father to a degree, less likely to freely learn more about the baby whilst it is in-utero due to the pre-assumptions made, either consciously or subconsciously, because the gender of the baby is already known. For example, a baby that kicks a lot may be viewed as an ‘up-and-coming footballer’ if known to be male, when the baby, in all honesty, is probably just a very active baby despite its gender. Then there are the problems that are caused when a baby is misgendered before birth. I never wanted to know the gender of my babies before they were born. I only cared about them being born healthy and me being the best mum I could be to them no matter what gender they were.

It seems to me that this mum-to-be wasn’t really ready for any child to come along. She says she fell pregnant quickly, so she probably wasn’t really trying, and her husband will probably be quite proud that the family name will be carried on into the future. I am sure that this baby will be loved once it gets here and the hormones have died down somewhat.

I think it’s very important to acknowledge and validate your feelings and allow yourself to grieve about it. The fact that you speak it out here is one big positive step. I think it would be good if you can discover where these feelings are coming from and where they have their roots; seeking support with this would be a next positive step

I understand where she is coming from. I always wanted a girl and currently have 2 boys. I was definitely disappointed when I found out my second was a boy but I tried to focus on the fact that he was healthy and when he arrived, he was perfect. Couldn’t imagine life without my two cheeky monkeys 😂

I do believe that gender disappointment is a real thing and that we should never ever judge as we don’t know the full story and history of an other person. And even though we can not stand in their foot steps and relate to their feelings, it is a good thing to accept and respect and admire those who are brave enough to speak it out. Speaking it out is a great step and seeking help in whatever form can be a very important step as well.

I had overwhelming gender disappointment while pregnant. I had accepted I would remain childless by the time I was 38. At 39 I was delightedly surprised and also terrified to learn I was pregnant was petrified to think I may have a daughter. I have my reasons. Every old wives tale or online predictor indicated I as carrying a girl. I had thought all those years ago I wouldn’t find out the sex and enjoy the one true surprise one can experience in life and I stuck rigidly to that because I knew I wouldn’t cope well with learning the truth early on. I joined a Facebook support group because I was really struggling with it all. It did help me to be able to talk through my fears and disappointment and I’d just about accepted it by the 9 month mark.

I was gifted with the most beautiful, healthy baby boy and on top of everything being a new mum does to you, thought I was going mad when I rechecked all those predictors because suddenly they predicted boy.

Gender disappointment is a real thing and I judge no one experiencing it.

Gender disappointment is real but I think short term. Mother’s usually love their babes all the same once they get over the initial shock and have time to change gears. Expectations vs reality can leave some major discrepancies between what we wanted and what we got. But it’s important to remember how lucky we are and what a miracle it is that we even grow wee humans.

I had two baby boys. First baby I had peri/post natal depression and anxiety. Second baby I developed post natal depression just under 12 months after his birth. Some of the darkest periods of my life. I missed my sister immensely who lived interstate, she was my best friend and knew everything about me. I didnt grow up having the most loving ‘mother daughter’ relationship with my Mum, so that maternal support was not there from her. I suddenly had a burning desire to have a baby girl, a daughter that I could ‘mend’ all my broken years and have that mother daughter relationship and love with. A daughter that would become my best friend. And for so many more psychological and emotional reasons. I became pregnant with my third child, it was a boy. It broke me for a long while, mentally and emotionally challenging. It took a long time to come to terms that I will never have a daughter. I still miss not having a daughter, and I always will. Deep in my heart I feel a slight crush when I see little girls with their Mums having a beautiful time, because thats what I wanted so badly. We should never be made to feel ashamed to want something, even if it is a specific gender. People who have nasty things to say about these situations need to keep their opinions a little less harsh. Gender disappointment is a serious medical issue, and it can have severe consequences. I still struggle with my boys at times, but I am still a great Mum and I know am certainly blessed to have been given the gift of having healthy babies- but as individuals especially in pregnancy mental health is tricky and we can only self control so much. Anyone who is going through anything PNDA or gender disappointment- I feel for you and be reminded you are not alone, its very hard but try keep your chin up, your feelings are very valid X

I’ve heard other Mum’s say they weren’t happy when they found out the sex of their baby because their heart was set on having one of the opposite sex. You should talk to your midwife about your feelings and you’ll find that a lot of women go through the same thing. It may just be a hormonal change and not about your true feelings.

I actually really feel for her. Gender disappointment is a real thing, even if people don’t like to talk about it. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her baby or won’t bond with him. She’s grieving the idea of a little girl she pictured for years. It’s not selfish, it’s human. I wish more people would respond with kindness instead of judgment, especially when she’s already carrying so much guilt and fear. This sounds like someone who needs support, not shame.

I always thought I wanted a baby girl, and although at the scan when my husband “accidently” identified that number 2 was a boy I was in tears and disappointed. When he was born, I couldn’t have loved him more.

We have seen quite some article about gender disappointment passing by lately and I wonder if this is an increasing problem at this day and age. We live in a time where in we can get what we want and when we want. It may be good that with this growing demand more specialised help becomes available to specific this problem

Crazy that someone isn’t happy with what they have. With so much infertility journeys publicly shared these days you’d think there’d be less people like this. Sure you always have a gender you hope you have but I guess you love what your body provides at the end of the day to no end. Having 2 girls sure there was a time I wanted my second to be a boy however I’m just meant to be a girl mumma and that’s what it is. Please seek help so that your disappointment does not rub off on your bubs.

Please see a therapist and sort your feelings out
You need to be giving thanks to be able to conceive, carry, and give birth to this beautiful boy not treating him like a toy that wasn’t quite right so you want to put him in the toy box and forget him
Some women, myself included, never had the luxury of pregnancy and birth although I was blessed to become a mother to my son though the Foster System and later to adopt him
I had all but given up on ever being a mother until I received that magical phone call asking me to come and meet my son
He was 9 months old, had been born in a prison hospital and addicted to heroin at birth
He was placed in my arms and I knew I had found my calling
Now almost 25 years later he and his girlfriend are about to make me a Grandmother
Children are a gift no matter their gender so treat them as such

I would highly recommend seeing a professional and talking through this. It is sad that this lady is feeling this way but I am aware this really is a real thing. I hope when her son arrives, her feelings change as that little boy is going to need lots of love and care.

In the article it states reading has been done about gender disappointment; it is probably a very good idea to read other books too that provide support. A GP can provide support and hopefully refer to resources and appropriate books to assist the multiple feelings being experienced about pregnancy, gender and birth.