I think more people experience this then we think but are just too scared to speak up.

I completely understand the let down feeling you can get but it all changes once that Baby is growing and you get to see them. Just as precious, every Baby.

I get it as I was a little disheartened to have a boy instead of a girl but that was quickly changed and a stupid thought of mine back then. I’m grateful for a healthy baby which should be any mother’s first thought. Deleting the video would be next to ensure the new bub doesn’t see it when they’re older.

There’s nothing wrong with hoping for a girl (or boy) but posting that video online means that it’s there forever and one day her son might find it and be upset. No matter how many times she tells him she loves him and is glad she’s a boy mum he’ll remember her reaction on the video. If you know you’ll be upset if it’s not the gender you’re hoping for find out in private.

Don’t feel like you need to explain yourself to us. We had 2 boys and I now have a wonderful Grandson and a Great grandson plus 3 beautiful Granddaughters. But I also have a Daughter-in-Law with a beautiful soul and a Grand Daughter-in-law who is also special.

This is why I don’t like gender reveals. I just longed for a healthy baby.

• • 
  • • Ellen replied
    • 21 Apr 2024 , 7:38 am

  ---

  I don’t like gender reveals either.
  At the moment you do into a pregnancy hoping and expecting a certain gender, there is already something ‘wrong’…it’s not how it works

I think it is quite normal to feel intensely if you’ve been looking forward to something, even it was imaginary – in this case a particular gender. Most people feel it, process it, and go on to love whatever child they have. No problem.

Pregnant with number 2 at the moment. 1st was a girl, we waited until birth to find out the gender which we loved! Will be doing that again. Part of me thinks it would be cool to have one of each gender, but after already having a girl i must say i feel like it would be easier having another girl, both me and the father are 100% happy either way. All her cousins have been boys so far (3) so it seems like people really are more commonly having more of the same gender and i would be more suprised if i had a boy than a girl.

As a mum to 3 boys, gender disapppintment is real. For me it was only for the moment I found out then it was all about the positives. May all who wish to be parents are granted this blessing.

I totally understand gender disappointment BUT I don’t think it should be videod/ widely shared etc. I know I wouldn’t want to my child growing up and seeing a bideo of me looking disappointed when I found out their gender.

not me,, but i know others who have

Our feelings are relative to our own experiences, right?
Gender disappointment doesn’t get discounted just because she could have a baby and someone else couldn’t. That’s not how it works.
As a mum of six boys and one girl, I’ve experienced disappointment too. Does it mean I loved my child less? No. But I did grieve a little for a little girl I so wanted to have. It passes. But in that moment, our feelings are valid.

I\’ve never been able to have a baby and that is the greatest disappointment. Maybe if you didn\’t know the baby\’s gender until his/birth, you won\’t have to go through such a disappointment. Instead, your emotions will be focusing on rejoicing in being able to give birth to a healthy baby. Hopefully your new son won\’t ever have to know how disappointed his mum was because he wasn\’t a girl.

• • 
  • • Ellen replied
    • 20 Apr 2024 , 6:19 am

  ---

  Bless you, I can imagine that’s even a bigger disappointment

I can understand feeling a little disappointed, but I’m sure it’ll turn into a blessing

My mum who birthed 5 girls had so hoped for a boy for my dad. My dad however didn’t mind to have 5 girls and took great pride in us