We all know girls can be mean and mum keyboard warriors are the worst. A Kmart mums group recently exploded with negativity after an innocent craft post turned into a feral online cat-fight.
You would think a Kmart mums group would be all upbeat and rosy, with perhaps a couple of anti-pie maker posts to spice things up a bit. But the nature of Facebook groups is that there are trolls lurking everywhere. Her profile pic reveals a cheerful mum hugging a gaggle of kids and perhaps a pup or two. But behind that smiling demeanour is a classic mean girl that loves stirring things up. Her favourite thing is to provoke a virtual slinging match and when you see those inevitable gifs of popcorn-munching spectators popping up, they know they’ve achieved it.
I’m generally a lurker in the Kmart mums group and take my grandfather’s motto of “Don’t get involved!” very seriously. But sometimes I just can’t believe the unnecessary nastiness and lack of support (even if it is entertaining to read).
The latest posts in a Kmart mums group had more judgy judgements than a room full of lawyers. There’s nothing like a pic of a Shadow Box to get mums all fired up.
What Is A Shadow Box?
So what exactly is a Shadow box? Well, it’s all new to me. It’s basically like a cool way of presenting gifts – much more creative than boring old wrapping paper. Basically you start with a Shadow Box photo frame, like this one from Kmart. This is basically a deep-style photo frame so you can display items within the frame. Many people use it to showcase 3D artwork or other more bulky craft.
But some genius out there came up with the idea of presenting gifts within the shadow box. You would take each item, drop a piece of double-sided tape to the back of the item and then stick it inside the frame. You then arrange the various items in a decorative way and you have a super-cool, easy, peasy pressie.
What’s The Big Deal About A Shadow Box?
So, what’s the whole hoo-ha about the shadow boxes. Well, many members of the Kmart mums group love commenting on the contents of the shadow box gift. Many are really quite opinionated, admonishing the poster for giving too much cash or that the book that they’ve included is too babyish. This then ignites a chain of comments ‘yelling’ at the mum for being so vocally unsupportive…and so it goes on.
You would generally never ever say any of these nasty comments in person, so it’s pretty crazy that just because it’s out there on ‘anti-social media’, that people feel they have a right to be cruel.
Cruel & Cringy
There have been a couple of recent shadow box posts on the Kmart Home Decor & Hacks Australia which have made me want to cringe.
One mum shared a pic of the shadow box she created for her 13-year old daughter. It was packed with all sorts of treats, face roller (which apparently is a face massager, it increases circulation to help diminish aging) jewelry and (shock! horror!) a wad of notes ($250 in total).
“Loved putting together this shadow box for miss 13,” the mum shared.
Of the 950+ comments on the post, there were at least half that were brimming with admiration. But of course, it’s always the bad ones that stands out more and some of the comments were doozies.
It all started out on a high note:
“This is the coolest! I want this gift ahahah,” exclaimed one.
“So cool! She’ll love it!,” said another.
Wow, That’s ALOT Of Cash!
But then there were a couple of back-handed comments about the money:
“Look at all that cash!!”
“Can’t wait to see her cash prize at 18″
“Wow that’s a lot of money, lucky girl, happy birthday teenager!”
“Wow $250. For 13yr..lm behind the times.”
“They only expect more if they constantly get more and more and are spoilt. Expecting to be giving bigger and better each year is down to parenting.”
Stop Being So Judgy!
Many came to the defense of the original poster, which spiralled into a heap of pettiness.
“Whether you give your daughter stuff every single day or once a year is no ones business! You will always get the jealous comments from the parents who can’t or don’t give their kids as much… it’s an insecurity on their behalf and should be treated as such. It’s a beautiful, thoughtful gift and I’m sure your daughter will love it!”
“I don’t get it. Everyone can say that this lady has given her children too much and everyone applauds . But god forbid you agree and y’all get salty. This post is full of jealous comments. I’m just so sick of people putting others down for what they give to their children”
“Why don’t people worry about their own finances instead of someone else’s. Bloody Karen Karensons always out to ruin someone’s day”
“So many judgmental people around. Turning 13 is a big deal. Teenager.
$250 isn’t that much these days anyway. Maybe the cash is going towards something she is saving for, maybe it’s going in the bank. not really anyone’s concern is it?”
“This is one of the reasons I don’t post much on here as there is always someone who’ll always judge you.”
“I cannot believe how awful people are to each other on this page! It’s called ‘Kmart Home Decor and Hacks’ not
‘Here you can tear each other down with cruel and unnecessary comments’ Why do people feel the necessity to be so judgemental?”
Why Do You Care So Much?
The poster eventually edited her post to add:
“EDITED TO ADD: Holy sh*t, I can’t believe how many people are commenting on this!
The $ amount really is not worth getting so worked up about people. If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all!”
But That’s Not All….
Following this, a mum was brave enough to share a pic of the shadow post she made for her nephew:
“Love everyone posts on the shadow box. So I decided to do one for my nephew’s 16th.”
Her box contained a selection of goodies, an L plate, a book and some cash $70). Seems innocuous enough, doesn’t it? But of course, there had to be one Mc Judgey mum who told the poster that the book was inappropriately young for a teenager.
I’m Just Trying To Help!
“I don’t want to sound rude but I think the book is a bit young for a 16 year old… it’s more primary school age. My 7 year old loves it,” she said.
Immediately, members pounced on the commenter. Some were brutal in their responses. Others actually supported her critique.
“This lady just pointed out the age level for this book … wasn’t rude at all, if I were an aunt I would have no clue what kids at that age read and would love to hear that from a parent. All these ppl commenting on her being rude are actually so judgemental.. and rude to her .. what about that?” said one.
“Omg some people are just trying to helpful by giving some info and get verbally abused!” said another.
But others were vocal in their disagreement.
“It’s bloody horrific!”
“I see so many posts like these being judged, I’m sure they are greatfull for whatever they get. Some people can’t afford anything and they are still happy as Larry,” said one.
“Imagine your life being that sh*t you gotta come on a Kmart mums group and bag people out over a shadow box LOL”
“I literally am so scared to post or comment on this page, some of you women are like rabid dogs ready to kill lol
Y’all got no shame!”
Is It Our Right To Judge?
Some would say that by sharing a post or a picture, you are inviting positive and negative comments. Fair point. But it looks to me that this Kmart mums group is spiraling out of control. Not nice!
Are you a member of a Kmart mums group? Do you notice any mean girl comments? Do you think people have a right to judge? Tell us in the comments below?