we always spent it with my husband’s family now we don’t see her at all. She doesn’t do anything for anyone without demanding something in return, and stuff her I have family too

I always spent it with my mother-in-law though I sometimes wants it spend only with my husband and kids but then I think that one day when my kids will get married and if their wives and husbands would not want my kids to spend this day with me then how would I feel. That thought always stopped me from spending mothers day without my mother-in-law.

Nope, I think it’s totally reasonable as it’s your day!

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 13 May 2019 , 6:28 am

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  Absolutely – do what you want and stick with it and enjoy it.

No one else should dictate your day and what you do on your day – it shows a lack of respect.
Make a choice and stick with it and MIL may not like it but will need to respect it.

inlaws can be challenging and demanding

I can see she just wants to be shown appreciation too as it is her first. They could always do it the week after for the grandma.

Is there any way you could see just see just your husband’s Grandmother for a short time. She is probably looking to seeing you and you little bundle of joy. As you said it might be the last one for your husband’s Grandmother. Was the Grandmother there too? As for your Mother-in-Law you all saw her today. I can understand your feelings though, especially the fact you made the effort today.

Your first mother’s day is a special day id be the same if i was in her shoes.

I say do what you want to do,it is a special first Mother’s Day and it is your choice not anyone else.

Not an issue I have to deal with as my in laws are other side of the country and I’m estranged from my own mum so the day is always mine, tho I do sometimes include my dad if we go to the zoo or something. My dad lives within driving distance so is involved in father’s day. I offer to do something with my dad the day before so that my husband gets one father’s day to himself, but he is happy-ish to include my dad on the actual day. As he puts it, my dad has nobody else and you never know how many father’s days he will have left.

A first Mother’s Day is special, but your hubby probably wants to see his mum too! I’m sure if in 20 years your child told you they couldn’t see you on mother’s day because their partner wanted to have the day to themselves, you probably would be a little bit upset by that too. You have to compromise and realise that yes, you’re a mum, but so is your MIL and its a day for all mums to enjoy

It is not unreasonable to say she wants her first Mother’s Day to be about her.

My first mother’s Day was just that, not about me, all about my mil. To make it worse her birthday falls around mother’s Day too so mine is usually a fail.

You need to start the way you mean to go on. If you don’t want to do this then don’t. No one can make you.

I think your first mother’s day should be how you want to spend it, it’s special and a milestone, and the same with the first father’s day. She need to explain herself to her husband so he can understand her needs and then explain that to his mother.

In the end its just a day. Mothers day can be any day you choose. If his family is going to be so petty about it, then its their bad luck.

I live far from my family and my husband’s family so I don’t have these problems. But it’s very tricky indeed. I would only say that if you don’t like a situation, do something as soon as possible. The more you wait, the more difficult it will be.

I would for the kids sakes, but my MIL wants nothing to do with me or her grandchildren

To me, Mother’s Day is a family day. I always had the morning with my kids, visited mil fir lunch, then back home for an evening with my kids. She says it could be the grandmother in laws last Mother’s Day, I think she at least should be included. Mayb leave it til after Mother’s Day to raise the issue of the bossy mil.