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A husband has been accused of ruining his wife’s special moment, by revealing her pregnancy during a heated argument with her father.

The dad-to-be says he simply couldn’t hold his tongue any longer, after years of derogatory comments from his father-in-law. The couple, who have been married for four years, are expecting their first baby. And while the husband’s relationship with his mother-in-law is amazing, he and his father-in-law have never seen eye to eye.

“My wife has had a kinda troubled family life regarding her father,” he explained on reddit. “He ran out on her and her mother for another woman shortly after she’s was born and they were estranged until just before our wedding. I am very close with her mother and she loves me but her father hates my guts. I’ve never had anyone in my life hate me as much as he does.

“He’s one of those old school macho guys and one of the things he question about me is my masculinity. When he first met me he told me my job (software engineering) was a ‘nancy job’ and a real man worked with his hands and I wouldn’t be able to provide for his daughter (ironic and lol).

“I’m also not really a traditionally masculine man. The most masculine thing I do is lift weights. I paint my nails, style my hair, care about fashion, and do other traditionally feminine things. He constantly mocks me for it and accuses me of being gay. My wife wants me to just put up with it, and I want her to have a relationship with her father so I just do, but I’ve been dealing with this for almost five years and it’s exhausting, and embarrassing.”

‘I’m man enough to put a baby in your daughter’

The expecting dad says he and his wife were thrilled when they found out they were having a baby, and told his wife’s mum and her stepdad, who were just as excited. But then it came time to tell his wife’s dad.

“I of course was dreading this and be there was no way for this to go well. So prior to dinner, something was up with the TV and he asked me to fix it. I tried but couldn’t figure it out. He then went on about how a real man fixes things and, ‘What am I going to do when things break around the house? Call someone like a pussy.’ and telling me I’m not man enough for his daughter.

“At this point I had enough. I snapped. I told him that I was, ‘Man enough to put a baby in your daughter, and unlike you I’m not going to leave them.’ He exploded and cursed me out calling telling me how awful I am and how my wife needs to leave me and how she made a mistake marrying me. There was a huge argument that my wife had to break up and we left shortly after.”

While the dad-to-be says he doesn’t feel he has anything to apologise for, his wife thinks differently.

“She was very upset with me. She told me I ruined the night and now she can never have this moment back again because I shot off my mouth. She said it was juvenile of me to respond in the way I did, and that I made her tenuous relationship with her dad even worse now and it’s all my fault and I need to apologise.”

What are you thoughts? Who is in the wrong and needs to apologise? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • Understandably so!

    Reply

  • Oh dear.
    She has a right to be angry – and eventually – surely – she will understand that we all make mistakes in the heat of the moment.
    What’s done is done, and we can’t take back what has been said – we learn from our experiences.

    Reply

  • Why did her Dad come back into their lives now? Did the other woman kick him out and now he’s come back to see what he can get from them? I can’t believe you held off for so long. Hopefully your wife will realise why you ended up losing your temper and it was a slip of the tongue. I hope you can get this all sorted before too long. Your wife loves you as you are and her estranged Father has no right to say who she should be with.

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  • Ahhh everyone makes mistakes in the heat of the moment. Sounds like something I’d have done to be honest.

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  • Ooh, this is tricky. The father-in-law sounds horrible. I have one of those who I no longer have anything to do with. I understand she’s upset but maybe she should have just spoken to her father directly instead of involving her husband. It must be quite obvious that the relationship is not a good one.

    Reply

  • I don’t think he has anything to apologise for even though his wife wanted to tell her father in a different way. Personally I think she lets her father bully her and her husband and if she loves her husband, she should tell her dad to pull his head in. He is being so rude and arrogant to her husband.

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  • Weellll I’d be disappointed, but it sounds like her dad is absolutely atrocious. Someone needs to tell him off, and I can’t blame her husband for his reaction.

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  • I’d be disappointed that I didn’t get to announce it the way I planned, but I can’t blame the guy for snapping. By the sounds of it the wife lets her father put him down, she should have pulled him up and stood up for her husband.
    Also why does he think he gets a say in his daughters love life, after not having anything to do with her for years?

    Reply

  • This sounds like such an unpleasant story, I feel for the hubby getting Bullied. You should be able to be yourself.

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  • The wife needs to side with her husband. The Father needs to pull his head in, especially if he wants to continue to have a relationship with his daughter. I hope the father comes to his senses, but given his track record, there isn’t much hope here.

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  • I think I would be more supportive of my husband towards any comments from my Dad. I think your Dad had the problem and your husband has put up with the rude comments. Your husband is loving and supporting and is going no where and about to be a father. Let all the past stay in the past and things said in anger stay said but move on. Your new baby will bring happy days to the two of you so enjoy your beautiful little family. (Do not let this argument change your marriage.) Life is way too short!

    Reply

  • Your father in law has no right for an opinion. He abandoned his family so everything he is saying about you is actually true about himself. He is the one that needs to apologise. Regardless of what job you have at least you are providing for your family and not running away when the going gets tough.

    Reply

  • I’d never let any member of my family treat my Husband like that. I don’t blame him for snapping and he is the one who deserves an apology!

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  • She needed to tell her dad to stop belittling her husband. She know he didn’t like. While he wouldn’t have said what he did, I can’t blame him for finally snapping

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  • He had been putting up with emotional abuse for all those years. I can understand him snapping. Everything he said to the dad was true, whether he liked it or not. I think the wife could have been a bit more supportive of her husband from the get go and actually stand up for him.

    Reply

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