Mother’s instinct is a funny thing. At home, we trust it without question. But put us in a hospital setting with an unwell child, surrounded by doctors, nurses and monitors, and suddenly we start doubting ourselves.

What if I’m overreacting?
What if I’ve got it wrong?

So we stay quiet, even when we know something just isn’t right with our child. I’ve been there myself – when my usually ‘tough’ son was doubled over with stomach pain. I was told in the emergency department that it probably wasn’t his appendix. But I knew he wouldn’t have begged me to take him to hospital unless it was serious. Because I know him better than anyone. Turns out, it was appendicitis.

It’s a really common place for parents to land. You’re grateful for the care your child is getting, but at the same time, you feel this huge responsibility to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.

Here’s the thing though: that instinct you’re feeling? It matters more than you might think.

Why your gut feeling matters more than you realise

According to Paediatric Nurse Unit Manager, Canterbury Hospital, Leticia Jackson, parents bring something to the hospital that no test or machine ever could.

“Parents often say they ‘just know’ when something isn’t quite right with their child, and in a hospital, that gut feeling is incredibly valuable,” she explains.

While medical teams rely on observations, tests and equipment, parents know the little details. The way your child usually smiles. How they react when they’re tired. What’s normal for them.

So when something feels “off”, even if everything looks okay on paper, it can actually be an early warning sign.

“When parents trust those instincts and speak up, this creates a powerful partnership that can sometimes catch a problem before it becomes an emergency,” Leticia says.

Worried about speaking up? You’re not alone

A lot of parents hesitate about advocating for their child.

You don’t want to come across as difficult. You don’t want to question the people caring for your child. And sometimes, you just don’t feel confident enough to push the issue.

Leticia gets it.

“It is completely understandable for parents to feel hesitant,” she says. “No one wants to be seen as difficult or to second-guess the hardworking people caring for their child.”

But here’s a helpful way to look at it: you’re not challenging the medical team, you’re helping them.

Parents are the constant. Staff change shifts, care for multiple patients, and rely on snapshots of information. You’re there the whole time, noticing the subtle changes.

“Our medical team doesn’t view a concerned parent as overreactive, but as a partner,” Leticia explains. “Your voice matters.”

Remember, we know our children better than anyone.

What to do if you’re worried: the Raise It process

If you’re in a NSW public hospital or health service and you’re worried about you or your child’s condition getting worse, there is a clear process you can follow called Raise It.

Raise It is designed to help patients, carers and family members get help fast if they’re worried about a change in their loved one’s condition.

Here’s how it works:

1. Talk: Start by speaking to a nurse, midwife, doctor or health worker about your concerns.
2. Ask: Still worried? Ask to speak to the nurse or midwife in charge and request a Clinical Review.
3. Call: If you’re still concerned, you can escalate further using the Raise It process to get urgent attention from a senior health worker.

You don’t need medical knowledge. You don’t need to be certain. If you feel something isn’t right, or your child is getting worse, Raise It. You just need to speak up.

What should you actually look out for?

Sometimes it’s not one big, obvious sign. It can be small, subtle changes that just don’t sit right.

Things like:

• Changes in breathing (fast, laboured or noisy)
• Skin looking pale, mottled, or developing unusual rashes
• Your child being unusually drowsy, floppy, or hard to wake
• Confusion or behaviour that’s out of character
• Pain that isn’t improving with treatment
• Or simply that feeling that your child is getting worse

And sometimes, it’s just that gut feeling you can’t explain.

That’s enough.

“You are helping us, not bothering us”

If there’s one message Leticia wants parents to take away, it’s that you aren’t bothering the medical team, you’re helping them.

“In my years as a Nurse Unit Manager, I can say with absolute certainty that many critical changes in a child’s condition have been identified first by a parent. While our clinical staff are highly skilled at performing regular observations and interpreting data, parents are the only constant presence who truly know their child’s baseline behaviour, personality, and what is normal for them.

“I have seen numerous instances where a parent’s insistence that their child is “just not themselves” – despite vital signs appearing relatively stable – has prompted a deeper clinical review that uncovered everything from early signs of sepsis to a life-threatening respiratory crisis.”

The Raise It process exists because healthcare teams know how important parents are in keeping children safe.

“Speaking up doesn’t mean you don’t trust the team,” she says. “It means you’re partnering with us to make sure nothing gets missed.”

And if you’re still worried about being judged?

“Whether your concern turns out to be something or nothing, your instinct to raise it is always valid.”

Find out more, visit health.nsw.gov.au/raiseit

Mouths of Mums is proudly working with NSW Health to bring you this important article.