I recently attended the funeral of a close relative. I am so confused. The eulogy painted my relative as a warm, loving, kind hearted person. I sat there, feeling sad that we would never ever see this relative again. We are closely related but we do not have a close relationship. We only see each other at celebrations or family gatherings. I don’t have ill feelings towards this relative and I genuinely felt sad that the relative died. I just wondered why this relative was not warm, loving and kind hearted towards us. Has anyone attended a funeral and felt like I did?

Posted anonymously, 27th April 2016

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  • The funerals I have attended have all been good celebrations of a person’s life and I have always felt a connection. Everyone does have different relationships with people.


  • Yes i have, but i think in a funeral setting you just have to paint a person in the best light possible so they can have a great send off without regret( as you hope family would do for you)… One of my grandmas was a cold hearted person towards us kids as she hated our mother It took me years to realise it wasnt us but the person dad married( turns out he married the daughter of one of his life long arch rivals unbeknown to us).. The nicest thing she ever said to me was i had nice teeth when i visited her on her death bed.. But that is the one nice thing i will remember her for…


  • Eulogies are about remember the best characteristics of a person. I have never felt how you did, more a sense of wow, so glad that person touched people in that way.


  • No , I never felt like this before .This all depends on your level of thinking and the bonding between you & your relative . I recently attended my neighbors funeral which was organized by Unity funerals team . I got lot of unique new things & ideas there for arranging funerals of our loved ones .


  • Yes I did I sat there thinking why are they lying or did I dont know this person as well as I thought, but talking with others we all have a sense they did not want to paint the person in a bad light


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