I really feel for you. It’s a difficult situation when you haven’t got the necessary backing from family members, but even more so that your step son is demanding that you respect him, which unfortunately is not uncommon with this generation and not having the boundaries set by his father regarding your authority wouldn’t help the matter. I think you sound like an amazing person to look at things in such a level headed and objective way and with the sincere concern you show as well. I hope this situation improves for you.

being step mum

being a step mum

I hope your partner is supportive my partner had 2 children from his marriage and then we had one together and his children where only coming every 2nd wkend but the problems started when we would have things on and he would refuse not to have his children and much more it got so bad me and our son where always last and treated like crap and he left me to raise our baby 1 yr old son on my own s he could have his older kids 13 and 12 when he wanted and never gave a crap about me or our son

Firstly, I feel for you. Its a horrible stage to go through. Mr 16 used to get along really well with his step-dad (my hubby) until a few years ago when he just started gaining an attitude. He’d been with his step-dad for 8 years prior without a problem. Makes it hard as hubby and I have a child together so it puts me in a difficult position.

On the other side, my first hubby was going through the same horrors with his step-daughter (Miss 14) . I received a call from him one day extremely upset as he’d decided to move out as they couldn’t continue fighting all the time. They are now going to family counselling trying to get through it as a family as they too have a child together.

Families are hard and as I keep saying to both hubby 1 and hubby 2 – it will get better once they are adults (oh I hope so!)

What a caring person you are. I only hope as he gets older that he understands this.

So difficult – nothing will work unless his dad backs you. He needs boundaries.

Thanks for your support, we tried him in counselling a few years ago and he told his dad he didn’t want to go so guess what he didn’t have to. His dad backs me up occasionally but not enough to make a difference. I do believe if he got a smack when he was younger it may have made a difference. I know it did with my siblings and I and most of my nieces and nephew. I have never had a child treat me the way he does. Doesn’t make it any easier when all my family live in another state. I am looking forward to school holidays I am going to visit them for a week. I just remind myself that he is getting older which means he will be working soon and get his own life which might teach him how to respect other people and realise the way he is at home is wrong.

You poor thing I don’t know what you can do, at his age I think you are going to find it hard to change him, have you spoken to your husband about it all? Maybe some group councilling may help

Oh you poor thing, it would drive me mad, especially the little horror demanding respect! I really really wish sometimes smacking was still socially acceptable, as, although in most circumstances unneccessary, in cases like this it would do wonders! “The hand of knowledge on the seat of learning” worked well at teaching older generations about respecting their elders!