I have been with my partner for 9 years, he has two children to his ex a boy aged 15 and a girl aged 13. We also have a three year old daughter, so I have been in his children’s lives since they were six and four. You wouldn’t think so though, the way they talk to me. I get major attitude from them, especially when their dad is not home. The boy actually lives with us and does not see his mum at all, due to the guy she married trying to discipline him and the mum backing him up and other things but that’s another long story. So he came to live here as his dad works long hours and he knows that he gets more freedom here. See the problem there is since he was young his dad has led him to believe that I cannot tell him what to do or not to do. Minor things are ok like clean your room but I am getting into arguments with him because he doesn’t think he should have to do any chores at home as I am a stay at home mum at the moment he has said that I should just do it all. When I grew up we all had chores and most people I know make their kids help around the house, I know when my daughter gets older she will be helping. It’s not so much making them do things it’s teaching them respect. My stepson tells me when I show him respect he will show me respect. The problems is my partner and his parents have always told him everything about all that is going on, where I think a lot of the conversations should have only been between adults so my stepson now thinks everything is his business. I am always telling my partner I would rather talk about things without his son listening all the time. I know it is not his fault as that is how he has been brought up here and at his mums place when he was still going there. But he is old enough to know that you should respect your elders. The main thing that upsets me is that I do everything for him that his mum should do and I still get him telling me I’m not his mum. I know I am not his mum but a little bit of respect and appreciation wouldn’t hurt. This is how it works, what he says and does is none of my business but I am expected to drive him anywhere he needs to go and do whatever he needs me to do for him. I know it sounds like a typical teenager but it is hard when he tells me he hates me always has and dad could find someone heaps better. I know he loves his younger sister(my daughter) but he is going to make it very hard to live here as she gets older and feels his hatred towards me, that’s if she doesn’t already. He still does not get that I am with his father because we love each other and I chose to love him and his sister as well and now we have a gorgeous little girl in the family to love. I just want him to realise I am not going anywhere and I do care about him but he doesn’t seem to understand. Oh well, I want people to know that unless step parents have got support from the whole family it is not going to be easy. I hope we can get through this phase and when he gets a little older he realises that I care about him and only want to help him grow into a decent person.
Posted by ksinclair17, 24th June 2013