I am not the kind of person who is called “fashionable”. I don’t dress for trends, i dress for comfort. I would call my fashion sense “MATERNITY/COMFORTABLE…. UH….CLOTHED” Maybe you would class it as frumpy. Either way, i just did not care what i wore, just so long as it covered me all up.
But a few months ago that changed. I had a family member’s wedding to go to. I had been wearing my old maternity clothes from my 2nd child which i had YEARS ago. Don’t get me wrong, i have bought a few new items here and there but i developed a really big fear. My body didn’t bounce back from having my 2nd child and then i got pregnant again really quickly and i had to come to grips with my brand new body shape. I was hiding underneath my clothes in denial. I didn’t want to look in a mirror out of disgust. I won’t get a picture taken of me and i don’t take selfies unless i want to delete them for fun. I haven’t wanted to go shopping because i felt really embarrassed about my new voluptuous shape and trying to find a bigger size of clothes, really made me want to crawl into the nearest hole. I hated seeing a gorgeous top and then seeing that it didn’t come in size elephant. I hated it when a very slim lady would come and grab this top that i just had put back. I avoided going shopping as i likened it to standing on a stage naked with a big spotlight shinning on me, in all my saggy, jiggly bits glory.
Anyway, i told my hubby that we have a wedding to go to and it would be ridiculous to turn up in maternity clothes and i had nothing to wear. He told me that i had to finally go shopping. I begged him and argued with him to let me just shop online and he realistically told me that there was no way that i would receive my clothes on time and be able to deal with sending them back if they didn’t fit me. I knew he was right but i just didn’t want to go to the store.
My hubby then said something amazing to me! He told me that he didn’t care what size i needed and that he would cut the tags off himself so i wouldn’t have to look at them. He told me that size is just a number and all different brands have different sizing guides. He told me that i was beautiful and that he (and many other guys) would love to have a woman with meat on her bones (so to speak). He really boosted up my confidence and made me feel less ashamed of my size. I was a size 8 when i met him and have almost doubled that in ten years and 3 kids later. He made me feel beautiful and confident and these are feeling that i haven’t associated with my body for a long time. So any other day, seeing “plus size labeling” would have made me cringe but this day, i happily sought it out.
I would love to see the term plus size removed though. I mean, i know that i am bigger than the average but i don’t want to be catergorized and made to feel ashamed of this! My body has done amazing things and gave me a wonderful family. I want to be excited to try out clothes instead of ashamed. I don’t want to be crushed by this imaginary pressure that i feel from society and i NEVER want to hear the term FAT SHAMING ever again. I have stayed away from the public in fear of being judged and this is no way to live a life. I want to be happy. I know that happiness comes from within and no matter what body size or shape you are, NO-BODY has the right to make you feel like a lesser human being.
It sure boosts your spirits when someone you love, tells you that you are perfect to them. My hubby was on the verge of tears, trying to explain just how much he loves me the way that i am. It made me realise that while i see flaws,everyone around me just sees their mum, their friend, their daughter, their sister or their lover. They do not see what i see. I am learning to accept myself and to stop comparing myself to Kim K, Angelina or that really perfect looking mum at school. I don’t want my daughters to grow up and think that they need to hide themselves away or reject every offer to go out and LIVE LIFE because they live in fear of judgement from STRANGERS.
So i now raise a virtual glass to all you ladies out there! Be happy, be confident, be sexy, NO MATTER WHAT SHAPE, SIZE OR COLOUR YOU ARE! You are wonderful the way you are! Shake what your mama gave ya!
Posted anonymously, 21st August 2015