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I’m finding it so hard to let my ex seen our son, we had a horrible relationship he abused me while doing drugs never supported me or his son from a diff relationship he won custody of. My son hasn’t seen him in almost a year I think his better off but now he wants visitations :'( I know my son is not safe and iv been to different lawyers to help me I don’t want to loose my boy


Posted anonymously, 1st June 2014


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  • Can you make it that he only has short supervised visits? Do you have any way of checking or having a Govt. official doing a drug test to see if he is still doing drugs? Can you prove he has neglected or abused him in any way? How old is your son? He may be old enough to say whether or not he wants to see his dad. If he maybe interviewed alone, not with either parent present even put it in writing. In SA I believe a child’s solicitor can be appointed to appear in the Family Court. I’m not sure if the Govt. provides it or whether you would have to pay for the service. I can’t advise on what happens in other states.

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  • I would seek legal aid for advice ( as it is free ) and ask them why he got custody if he is using drugs. Something is amissed and does not seem right . Ring the police of Docs if you are gravely concerned and get as much support as possible .

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  • custody

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  • I wish you the best of luck but I think he’ll get his visitations. The law is so unfair

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  • I don’t think he would have any rights as he is abusive and on drugs, the lawyer should be able to win the caseā€¦

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  • I would be going to see a lawyer and getting one to act on your behalf, my friend has just gone through the same her ex was doing drugs and all he has to do is pass the drug test and he gets to see his daughter once a week for 5 hours and if he stays clean then the hours go up and hes wanting her overnight but think thats still a little way off.
    I think your find it very hard to keep him away from the child unless you can prove hes very violent good luck hope it all turns out ok for you :)

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  • I think you can make it that he has supervised visits at a center where their are people who can not let him leave with the child and also watch how he interacts with the child and the child with them. You would have to try mediation and you do not have to be in the same room and than take it back to court to at the least allow him supervised visits but if you have proof he ever harmed the child at all while together or while you were pregnant this will help you to prove you are scared for the child and than you can get a dvo and you must include the child

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  • You have to do what you feel in your heart is right, for both you and your son. Your ex may have some right legally, but morally he sounds like he’s relinquished all rights to his son by his behaviour. You have to protect your son, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

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  • The courts are so pathetic when it comes to this subject, I had my grandson full time for 2 yrs, from 7 months of age, then when his dad decided he wanted him, he got him, no questions asked, and I could do nothing to stop it. He got full custody, even though he violently abused my daughter for over 7 yrs, most of it documented with the police too.
    I feel for you, it’s such a hard thing to deal with, emotionally draining too.
    I wish you all the best, fingers crossed it works out for you and your partner.


    • Couldn’t agree more with the courts being pathetic. Our legal system is based on an archaic English system of law, that quite often let’s people get away with the most outrageous things. There is so much more I could say from personal experience but it would turn into a novel. It’s disgraceful, you literally have to be almost dead before anyone does anything about things. There are many forms of abuse and often these abusers just work the system and cost others money and walk away scot free as if they are angles. The Australian legal system needs a massive overhaul, but then the big guys wouldn’t be making money would they.



      • My younger sister is going through something similar and it really sucks.

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  • Not sure if his off them and have some proof of what’s happened in the past. Thanks ladies very emotional time also due to have a Bub in. 6 weeks with my soon to be husband just can’t find happiness in anything cuz of this. Needed to vent tho so thank u

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  • I would feel the same as you are!! keep fighting for what you believe is best for your son, do you have evidence of his behaviour? i really hope things work out.

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  • I hope things work out for you, has he stopped the drugs? keep us posted how u go

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