Living with depression is like living a double life. When you finally venture outside you are constantly analyzing every move you make so that people don’t realise that you are anxious or just want to burst out crying. I hate going out with my kids because I always see other mums who seem to have it. I find motherhood a real struggle and since my daughter resembles my sister in law I feel that is a reason why we haven’t bonded as I can’t stand my sister in law. However I am slowly learning to love my daughter. She was diagnosed wih borderline depression and anxiety. How can they determine that for a two year old. Anyway she would never have eye contact with people and to be honest I hated being around her. Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter but I didn’t like her as much as I liked my son. I don’t know why and I guess therapy will help answer that question. However I’m slowly learning to love her and realise that she has got a wonderful personality. Just last week she has started singing and like me she has a bad tone to her voice but I love the fact that after three years she is happy enough to be able to sing. I’m not at the point that I can sing but we are slowly getting there. We are venturing out today so lets see how it goes.
Posted by pastosy, 27th November 2013