Our First Party Invitations - A Big Deal For a Shy Mum

10 Comments

My little one and I started going to playgroup this year and he loves it. He’s almost two and I do feel a bit guilty that I hadn’t started taking him sooner but the problem has been me. The fact is, I’m fairly shy and I dislike being in a room full of people that I don’t know. It makes me nervous and I just want to run and hide.
BUT, for the sake of my little one, I have forced myself to go to both Story Time at our Library and Playgroup each week (health and weather pending). Slowly but surely I feel like I’m getting to know the other mums there and I’m getting less anxious each time I walk in. That’s progress, right? And my son loves it of course!
So anyway, within the last two weeks we have had not one but TWO invitations to fellow playgroup kids’ birthday parties. I know it’s sad, but I was quite excited about it because it’s proof that my little guy is making friends (sort of – he’s only 2) and I’m not holding him back after all.
Has anyone got any tips for overcoming shyness? I have noticed that my son is not yet shy but he is more cautious than other children. I really hope that my shyness and anxiety about crowds don’t also become a problem for him too.

Posted anonymously, 21st August 2014

10 Comments

- - mom81879, TAS said
  - 31 Jan 2017
    7:59 pm
I think you’re amazing and doing a brilliant job. Keep doing what you’re doing

- - mom81879, TAS said
  - 13 Sep 2015
    7:27 pm
I’m incredibly shy too and suffered the same issues as you. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as brave as you, I avoided social situations. My two kids are just fine. One is extremely outgoing, lots of friends, has no problems in any social situation. The other is not as outgoing, but can still speak up for himself when needed.

- - mom113055, TAS said
  - 23 Apr 2015
    3:35 pm
i like reading these stories

- - mom113055, TAS said
  - 20 Apr 2015
    3:10 pm
good nice story

- - damish70, TAS said
  - 27 Aug 2014
    11:06 pm
Some good tips here from other MoMs.

- - kathryn, TAS said
  - 26 Aug 2014
    8:30 am
I am shy too and totally understand how difficult it can be! I’ve found that it sometimes helps me to just be honest with people when I meet them, especially if I am nervous, and just say something like ‘Sorry if I seem nervy but I am not really good at meeting new people’ or something like that. It helps to break the ice and to let people know that I am not being stuck-up because I don’t just jump in and talk to others.
- Bela replied
  
  26 Aug 2014 , 9:20 pm
  That’s a really good point Kathryn. I think people often mistake my shyness for me being stuck up. I never thought of being up front about it though. I might try that, although I might be too embarrassed to admit it. Lol.
- - tamandimmy, TAS said
  - 24 Aug 2014
    9:32 am
Shyness is natural, maybe help him start slowly, by focusing on one friend at a time. Then get to know that mum.. It helps

- - Statho2000, TAS said
  - 22 Aug 2014
    10:54 pm
As mum, you need to lead by example. Teach him to be strong and independent, but know that you are there if he needs it. Same goes for you – he is there if you feel insecure. He’ll pick up what you are putting down. But at this rate, once he’s at school, you will be sorted. Good luck!

- - BellaB, TAS said
  - 22 Aug 2014
    1:24 pm
Getting to know people gradually is good, and don’t forget (for yourself) that having kids in common can be a great ice-breaker at things like playgroup, school playground etc. For him, I think letting him see that you make an effort but get rewards from contact with other people is good. He’s very little, and it’s still quite natural for him to be cautious with strange people.