well yesterday I had the job of ringing all the relatives to let them know about my Mum as I feel some of them deserved to know before they get the final call. Things are not going as good as we thought and we have to each day reevaluate how much time is left with my Mum and our hopes just keep getting crushed. I stayed at my Mum’s from Saturday and came home Monday night and I am off to Mum’s again tomorrow and am unsure when I am coming home. I try to help by doing all the washing hanging it out bringing it in and folding and repeating so many times a day as well as when I am their giving my daughter some sort of break as I will sponge bath my Mum and dry her powder her and dress her I help my daughter roll my mother every 2 hours due to pressure sores and help with toileting and getting her drinks and My daughter gets her breaky ready with I am sponging her than I take it to her. I am learning to use the hoist and allowing my Mum to think I m well enough to be doing all this. But I am not which does not matter as she is my Mum and I will do anything for her and any thing to help take a little of the pressure off my daughter. I know we are doing 24hr care and have had some times when we are not closing our eyes until 6am only to be on the go again by 9am and when it gets close to the time time that my Mum will be going to be with my Dad once more I have told Hubby I will not be coming home as I will be beside my Mum until the very end, I am Lucky to have a Hubby that understands but than again as far as Mum is concerned he is her son and he visits with her but I understand he also has to deal with things his way which is different to mine and we respect others wishes. I am starting to feel very lost but know what I must do for my Mum. The hardest thing is I don’t ever want to let her go. My Son seems to be a very wise 27 year old took me out side at my Mum’s when he came to see his Nan and said Mum remember Nan has had a very happy life and her and Grandad loved each other very much and she still loves Grandad and he has been gone 16 years this year. He said she is happy to be home and have us all around but she will also be happy when she is reunited with Grandad once her time has come he said she has been happy in life and she will be happy as well to be with the love of her leave again than he shocked me and said Mum please try and keep it together and do not neglect your self as you are getting sicker and Nan has had a full long and happy life but we are not ready to have to loose you as well. I had not noticed that I had lost more weight and look sick and that I without knowing was scaring my children about loosing me as well as their Nan. The sad thing is there is nothing I can do to prevent any of this as it was the hand life dealt me after the accident and upset stress anger all make things worse…….All I could say to my Son was I may not look the best but I am not going any where and I will be around for alot of years yet. I will get through this but it will be the only way I know how.
Posted by arcticwynta, 20th June 2014