Im currently living in a refuge with 3 of my 5 children due to DV.
I feel like I’ve failed my babies again as all my relationships have all been violent relationship. Nd my children have been witnesses to most incidents. I’m suffering so much and I can’t apologize to my children any more than what I do. I cry myself to sleep every night. I have nightmares every night. The biggest issue I have is me Nd my children live in fear every day as the offender was bailed Nd has breached the intervention order 30+ times. He is avoiding police but at the same time terrorising me and my children. I hate looking over my shoulder every minute of the day .

Posted anonymously, 26th February 2015

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  • I am so sorry for your situation, no one should live in fear.


  • good story


  • I’m sorry your going through all this. Makes my 1st world problems seem insignificant
    Hope things start getting better for you soon


  • My self and my children have been linked to a counsellor. The counsellors are doing little sessions ATM as because we are homeless Nd living in a refuge they think its not the ideal time to start working with the children fully as its not going to help at this time. Thank you for taking the time to read my story

    • Pleased to hear that you are getting support; wishing the very best with your journey and future. x


  • My mum was in your situation, quite a few times, and we ended up in women refuges! The only thing that helped her stop looking over her shoulder and move on, and rebuild her confidence within herself, was to move location. Although, this may not be a ideal thing for you to do, but if it wasn’t a problem, then maybe you could relocate, and focus on you and your children again.

    You shouldn’t have to deal with this. No one should!

    • i think the hardest part for Me i grew up with DV and I swore id never let myself nor my kids go threw anything like I did growing up.


  • I am terribly sorry to hear of your situation and feel for you and your children. I imagine the refuge has been able to link you in with support services and counselling for you and your children?


  • You have not failed you kids you are in a WR, try and be kind to yourself and work with amazing people that support to to change the way things are


  • i feel so sorry for you. no body should have to live in fear as you do. i tried to get a domestic violence order out on an ex when i was 17 and he would never show up at court so they could never really process it. i could only ever get temporary orders. you are already trying to make things better for your children and they will see that.


  • That must be a terrible situation. You haven’t failed your children if you have done the best you can to get out of that situation

    • Everyday I tell myself I’ve done the right thing by leaving but its hard sometimes too look back and see what i have done to my children


  • I am so sorry. It’s your partners that have failed your children, not you.


  • Been there, done that!! I had to leave everything and move interstate so that I was far enough away to not have to look over my shoulder. I had to sever some very close ties to protect them and me and leave a great job as well but the good news is…..life gets better and you become stronger and this is all positive for you and your children. Don’t forget to take your name of the electoral role and go silent voter…..dont be afraid of the change – embrace it and it will empower you……these times shall pass!

    • Very, very sound advice. Very intelligent move about the electoral role, as that is one way a person can always be tracked. I’m sure that the writer very much appreciated your first hand advice. I’m sorry that you both had to go through this.


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