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Married but still feel so alone. Husband would rather spend his day off with his work mates instead of spending time with our children. It happens all the time. I ask for a break and I cant get one. Stuck inside the house 24/7 and its driving me insane. He doesnt understand. To my husband I am the mother and its my job to be with our children all the time. I mean I am not asking for much but all I want is some help. Our kids have severe asthma and I am sick.


Posted by sheridanwooler, 1st June 2014


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  • great story to read

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  • Sad to hear your story, im always here if you want to chat, i know its not the same thing. Hopefully your husband starts paying some wanted attention to you and your kids, family time is great. He can always see his friends at certain times but should always set aside a day or two with you, like a date day.

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  • I was married to a man just as you have described, we had three children together and I felt very much like a single parent most of the time. Pretty much his only input was to discipline the kids even when I felt it was unnecessary, he barely even had any fun with them .I left him when my youngest child was 2 years old. I spent 7 years raising my kids as a single parent and enjoyed every day of it. I am now re married and couldn’t be happier :) Just saying, if you are not getting what you want out of life , sometimes you have to go find it.

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  • My hubby use to be the same, sometimes you just have to get in early and make yourself be heard. Book an appointment and just walk out. I remember trying to express myself to my hubby one time but the words didn’t express how I felt and he’s better at stuffing up my arguments. So I wrote him a letter about how overwhelmed and under appreciated I felt. Men just have no idea sometimes and need to be told how great we are. Goodluck.

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  • I agree, if he was committed in the relationship he would give 100%
    Sometimes moving on from something that doesnt make you happy is the best thing to do.

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  • My partner was the same. Everything else was more important than his family. He’s changed into the man I thought he should be. I hope your partner realises sooner than later.

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  • His actions are speaking louder than words. Marriage is about mutual respect for each other. He’s showing no respect towards you or his kids. I’m worried about your mental state. I hope you have a good GP you can talk to or try Lifeline, Beyond Blue.

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  • My husband spends most of his time in the bedroom watching television and the kids and I stay in the rest of the house. Most days I feel like a single parent, so I sympathise with where your coming from :(

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  • I know exactly how you feel as i was in the same position with my now ex husband, i just couldnt go on yes i love my children with all my heart but even mums need a break after all we are human to.
    Im now remarried to a wonderful man who still works full time but will always take the children if i need to go out, sometimes i think you just have to put your needs first.
    I think you really need to sit down with your husband and tell him how your feeling and ask for his help.
    good luck.

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  • I am so sorry as I never have been in your shoes but I think you might be best trying to tell your Hubby you are not super Mum and you get tired and sick and would like a break every now and then and point out he gets his own time and see if even once a month if he will agree you get some time for you even if all you want to do is lay in bed all day.

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  • Sheridan, it sounds like you really do love your hubby, but if he is truly worth your love, he wouldn’t be treating you like this. Marriage and parenthood is a partnership, and he’s not pulling his weight. You say that he saved your life and he loves you, but he’s not treating you how you deserve to be treated. You are worth more than this. If you feel like you’re just unpaid help, there to look after him & the kids, do you have family or friends that you could go and stay with for a few days? Perhaps if your hubby has to look after himself for a while, it may jolt him back into the real world, and he’ll realize how much he misses you. I really do wish you luck with this, as I know what it’s like to feel so very alone. Saying you love someone is all very well, but love is more than words, love is actions. And by the sound of it, your hubby is not showing that he loves you. I don’t know where you live, and I’m in Adelaide, but if you want to contact me any time, even if it’s just to vent about what’s happening, please feel free to email me (kad7591@yahoo.com.au).

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  • Thanks ladies. I dont have family where I live and the only person I thought was a friend was actually using me. I have tried talking and it doesnt work. Our son was a surprise. We were only together for 3 weeks when I fell pregnant as the pill didnt work. It was his idea to try for another and we did. I have had enough. I have told him I am stressed and depressed and need a break but it makes no difference. It seems like I am only here to look after him like another child. I love him so much. He saved my life. Took me away from harm and trouble. Taught me to trust again. Taught me to love. I would not be the person I am today but the last 2 years I have never felt so alone. I know he loves me but I cant understand why he continues to push his family aside


    • I understand exactly where you are coming from sheridan! we also fell pregnant after just a month together- im now pregnant with no. 2, i have lost count of the amount of times in the last two years he has let me down/ put me and our daughter second to his mates. It used to upset me i threatened to leave SO many times. Just when he starts to change he takes a big step backwards. I dont have any good advice for you as im still trying to figure out the best way to get through to my husband but i thought i would let you know your not alone!

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  • He definitely needs to change his ways… that is horrible. He should want to be with you and your kids, do you have any friends or family to help?

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  • You and your husband are married with children and time spent with the children should be shared. You both married and became parents and now are a family and he needs reminding of this. Try and explain yes you are their mum and are there for them but also need to have time out and time for yourself as well. If this fails talk to GP or health clinic Councillor for advice. All the best of luck and sending hugs your way.

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  • I can empathise with being all alone, as you kind of are dealing with severe asthma. Asthma can be very severe and not just the odd wheeze some people think it is. We have had many hospital visits with it over the years and it’s a tricky one to manage, trialling new preventers etc. I would sit your husband down and have a very frank conversation about how you are feeling. I get the sense that your at the end of your tether with his constant abscence and lack of input. I would make this clear to him. Best of luck

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