My first priority as a parent is to my son. I’m not denying that nor am I wishing I didn’t have him, but there are days where I wish I could just drop everything and go out with some friends. I am a single mum and my 2 year old only goes to his dad’s every second weekend, which are great don’t get me wrong. Lately I have been feeling very isolated and lonely and i know it’s not their fault, but i hate seeing pictures or Facebook posts of their fun nights out while I’m stuck at home with a grumpy toddler. I want to be there with them, singing karaoke or having dinner. I want to not have to worry about not getting my son to bed by 6. I want to not have to be mum for a night. It’s selfish as hell, but i just need to be able to feel like a woman and not just his mother because that’s not the be all end all to me. Sometimes I need to feel important too.

Posted by noxx, 20th May 2016

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  • Reasonable feeling, not selfish at all.


  • I think we can all relate to this, I hope you can get out every now and then, you sound like you need a break!

    • Exactly – mums can relate to this for sure! :)


  • you have every right to feel that way,you do all the work while the dad gets the occasional glory… If you can ask him to pick up a little slack when you are tired and deserve a little time off… Even if he can not ask family without him knowing you are a women who has needs..to go out for some fun or to have some sleep. its Time for you ask your mum or sister or brother for a night off every month or so you deserve it……. You are not complaining you just nee a little time to be you without a child attached…. I just recently saw a friend get married to the perfect person willing to take her child on as well as herself.. They are out there they just have to be found…..


  • That’s a totally reasonable feeling. Maybe you could find a babysitter every few months?


  • It is hard not being able to do the things you want. And it is not selfish to want a break. And can be so hard to arrange the out of hours help when you need it if you do not have family who can help. I wonder if your friends realize your situation and can do anything to help? (I also agree that facebook contributes to unreal perception of the ‘fun’ other people are having).


  • Everyone needs a little ‘me time’. Being a mum is the most important job in the world, but everyone does need to have a little bit of relaxation too. Looking at Facebook can at times be deceptive as people often only post pictures that make their lives look incredible and full of fun all of the time! It can bring you down a little. Best to focus on the positives and look closer to home and maybe as suggested see what you can do at home. Find some interesting things to do at home and also plan for a little well planned time out. Good on you for being brave and sharing your thoughts and feelings.

    • Maybe get your facebook settings changed so you can’t see those on specific people, only messages on private settings. It can be done. I only see messages from some people.


  • It’s not selfish at all. We all have times when we need to feel more then just a mum, we need me time. Maybe you could get his dad to have him for longer periods every now and again? I’m guessing you don’t have family close by, maybe friends could help out?

    • Working on a longer period with his dad at the moment. As for family, they’re not exactly supportive or reliable.


  • I felt like that I had 4 and was a single mum but my friend then would come over and have movie days/nights and BBQs etc so Why not ask your friends to your house and even though your son is home you can still have a girls night , dress up have food and drinks (doesn’t have to be alcohol) and play music or have a movie night and sleep over (I know it sounds like a kids thing but it isn’t) or craft night or painting just silly things something like that. I hope that helps xxoo

    • That sounds like a really good idea and I’ll definitely have a chat with some friends to see if they want to :)


  • Toddlers can be very demanding indeed. I understand what you feel and I hope things will soon improve and you will be able to get some free time to rewind.


  • Sounds like you need a break.
    Can someone mind your son while you for out for a coffee or something.


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