Having posted an answer in the answer section, I thought i’ll share my experience here. It is not easy to be a mom, especially when you cant do anything to help your LO.
My LO became quite unwell at 1.5yo. Fear of everything became a norm when hospital became the ‘second home’. We were in and out of it almost every 2 weeks. And I know my stress has rubbed on. So I changed my reaction and made light of things. And I’m glad the hospital is very child friendly. There was one nurse who has helped tremendously when she used the puffer as a toy and did some finger play. That made my LO more at ease and when hospital become a thing of a past (fingers crossed that it will continue to be so!), LO’s ‘normal’ personality came back. But it didn’t erase my guilt that perhaps I could have done something different to avoid the months of hospitalisation.
Then one afternoon, LO woke up from a nap, had swollen face and had to be rushed to the hospital for anaphylaxis. LO had to be coaxed and cuddled to sleep. And we never did find out what had caused the reaction. again guilt raised its ugly head and i blamed myself for quite a while that perhaps I could have been more careful or done something better.
Sometimes I wish all little people (as my LO says) doesn’t have to go through these sort of experiences at such a tender age. They had to mature at a much faster pace. I guess it has its good and bad sides.
As for myself, I remind myself every now and then that I’m doing the best that I could… but there is always that other voice that says I could have done better…
Posted by jocelynwong31, 9th January 2014