I have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl who was diagnosed with reflux at 6 weeks old. We are one of the lucky ones though, she has been very well controlled with medication for the most part and we are well on our way to being medication free!
People often minimise the condition as a baby that just spits up or is ‘fussy’ and it really irritates me because it is NOT just something that comes and goes with their mood. I didn’t spend months of my life in tears, fighting off PND and wondering “will it get better”, confined to my house because I am too anxious to leave in case she has a meltdown in the car or cries non-stop while we are out. I did not have the joys of first time motherhood ripped from me and my poor helpless baby in terrible pain and not understanding why, for people to tell me “oh yes, they all get that every now and then” or “all babies cry”.
The reason I am putting this rant like story up here is because there are so many other mums going through the same thing and chances are, if you aren’t a mother like me, you know one who is.
So if you are like me, it may get better (I can’t say it will because I know for some it doesn’t), there are plenty of support groups online that can help you get through it so reach out and don’t fight it alone, because it IS a very lonely fight. For those of you have been blessed with a ‘normal’ baby, or who haven’t yet taken that roller coaster ride into parenthood, if someone is confiding in you about their baby with reflux, DO NOT make comments like the ones mentioned above and, as good as your intentions may be, try not to compare stories about the few times your baby projectile vomited, because chances are, that mother has been vomited on a ‘few’ times, had two outfit changes because the others were covered in vomit and changed bub three or so times because they have soaked their clothes to the skin … that day before you came to visit. Often what we want is just to talk to someone and vent all of our frustrations and worries without judgement, we want our friend to simply hug us or make us food or clean our dishes or cry with us. We want a safe place to be vulnerable and look like death warmed up, knowing that when you get there, you will at least have cake (and you better bring cake) and maybe you will be brave enough to take that screaming banshee of me just long enough so I can go and cry in the shower for 20 minutes because I probably haven’t showed in 48 hours either.
Sorry this was such a long story, but people need to know the ongoing torture of having a baby with reflux, or any other debilitating condition. Parenting is one of the hardest things we will ever do as human beings and for us, it is harder.
Posted by mom385887, 31st August 2019