My partner & I have been together for 12 years & have 2 kids together. Lately we have been struggling a bit financially & it seems it’s taking a toll on our relationship. We seem to argue a lot & not be as close as we used to. I feel sometimes I don’t want to be with him anymore but then I still love him. I don’t know if I want to stay just because of the kids or if I really do still want to be with him. He is a great partnerz does everything to help around the house, takes care of the kids & does whatever he can. I just don’t know I’d there’s anything there anymore.

Posted anonymously, 28th June 2014

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  • Talk to him about how you are feeling… he may be able to help you to work it out together.


  • Chances are he may be feeling the same. Talk to him. Tell him you’re feeling stressed about the money situation, ask him how he’s feeling about it. Acknowledge that it’s a crap situation and you’re scared that it’ll put a strain on your relationship or even end it.Tell him, reassure him that things will get better, that you’ll get through it. The only thing that matters is that you have each other. Turn this financial stress into a positive for your relationship by talking and letting it bring you closer together instead of tear you apart.
    Definitely get the kids looked after and have a date night or two soon. Make a two or three course meal with candlelight. Or pack a picnic and go to a local park, beach, river or lookout to share your meal. Maybe have a bath together or you have one while he watches his favourite tv show. Or rent a dvd.
    Good luck!


  • Every marriage has ups and downs and we sometimes have to work really hard to preserve it. Don’t let little things get in the way of happiness.


  • Every relationship is different and no one can give the right advice for ever relationship when they are not living it. But definitely try and take some time out with just the two of you. I know if money is tight this can be a really hard thing to do but it doesn’t have to cost money. Have someone look after the kids and go to the beach and watch the sunset and just try and have a chat and share your thoughts and feelings. If you love each other you will both make it right.


  • Oh god, just lived this nightmare and it ended badly, my husband left and asked for a divorce!
    I had no clue we were heading in that direction, best advise I can give you is communication helps, my ex husband said nothing for 2 yrs then up and left me and my son so don’t wait, do it now before it’s too late!!! Good luck with everything :-)


  • As you first mentioned you seem to argue over money maybe thats whats made you change your mind about your relationship.
    I think you need to sit down and have a really good talk with your husband and just tell him how your feeling.
    You also need to think what would happen if you did split up ??
    You would still have money troubles and could possibly be worse off and also be trying to raise 2 children on your own.
    Was everything good before the money troubles ?? if it was im sure you can get it back to that place again.
    Godd luck i really hope everything works out for you.


  • Remember there are ups and downs in life..don’t walk away In the hard times, if you can stick through the hard times the good times will be so much better.


  • Please oh please see if some of your friends or family can have the kids for a night, especially something like a Saturday night sleep-over, and bring the kids back Sunday afternoon. That would give you & your partner a chance to have dinner in a relaxed atmosphere (either at home or out somewhere), spend the evening talking (or whatever), and have a relaxing breakfast/lunch. That should give you plenty of time to spend together, and talk, because by the sound of it, that’s what you both need to do, without distractions. Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

    • ^^^ I couldn’t have agreed more! I went through the same thing with my partner. We were constantly auguring and fighting and trust me there were times when I was ready to pack my bag and leave with my daughter. I felt I was over him and wanted out but I still had feelings for him and knew he still cared. We finally sat down and talked it all out and I hated seeing my daughter scared when we fought and we wanted our home to be a safe place for our child so on some weekends we would have my mum or a relative babysit my daughter while we hung out and just spent time with each other. We also made sure to at least have a date night every once a month and it really does help. We still disagree on things but things have improved tremendously when we made time for each other and remembering why we loved each other in the first place. Make some time for you and your partner and you’ll figure it out from there x


  • It might be time to communicate your feelings to him. I wonder if you need some stress free time to your selves? Maybe if one of your relatives could look after the children for a date night or something it could be a good opportunity to discuss things or see if there is a little spark still there.


  • its a hard one, but dont give up on your relationship just yet try to work things out, its so hard when its about money/ finance if you werent stressed or worried about money would you still be close?? and just ask yourself some questions and talk to him about it hope it all works out for you.


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