After my two beautiful daughters who are two years and three months apart we decided that we would love to have another baby. I feel pregnant in no time at all as always and this time my youngest daughter would have been 3 years and 9 months apart, although something went wrong. As normal my husband and I do not tell anyone that we are expecting until three months, so I had to make up an excuse for my mother to mind my 3 year old while I went to the obstetrician for my first visit, my husband had never let me go on my own ever before for any visit and this time he just could not get out of work, this made me uneasy as i had had a dream that night that my baby had died.

When a the Obstetrician the lady before me had found out that her baby had passed and here I was thinking how could I handle that. Then it was my turn and it was not long before I found out that I would have too be able to handle this news of my beautiful babies heart not beating on the scan. It did not seam real that this would happen to me and that it would happen while I had driven an hour away to the obstetrician by myself to find this out. In numbness they had me ring my husband but what do you say? and to have to go book yourself in downstairs for surgery the next day and then drive the hour back home and to have to tell your mother in secret so your to daughters do not hear. The numbness is still there although I was blessed to three months later fall pregnant with my beautiful little boy who I also nearly lost a few times and had to give up work.

This is why I question is it wrong to hold him a little tighter then my daughters because of his history?

Posted by Lov'n'Life, 6th June 2013

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  • Naw, no I don’t think so. As long as you hold all of them for equal time, I’m sure they won’t even notice you’re holding him a little tighter


  • as a mother you do what you have to do…there is no right or wrong answer to this question. After losing baby before your beautiful baby boy, its only natural to want to hold your little man tighter. Once you know that he is happy and healthy like your daughters, then the want/need to hold your son tighter should ease :)


  • hope you are doing well. it is not wrong to love your children and when you have lost a child, you appreciate what you have even more.


  • Hold him as tight and for however long you need to.


  • i think holding him tighter is the effect from losing your baby and him coming next but with some troubles,there’s nothing wrong with holding him closer i think because you know your girls are healthy,happy strong your son needs the extra cuddles because of your struggle.


  • so sad i feel your pain


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