Every baby or toddler I’ve met in my new hometown seems to be the perfect child. They go to bed between 7 and 9, and won’t wake until at least 6:30 in the morning. They nap consistently and easily throughout the day, never having to be resettled. They are the perfect sleepers.

I was talking to a mum about her little 4 mo th old yesterday. She was saying he is starting to drop a daytime nap, but will happily nap for 2+ hours at a time so it’s not “too bad”. Listening to this I couldn’t help but laugh as I said” I’m at the stage where I’d be happy if she would sleep for 2 hours straight “. The other mum looked completely confused. . I explained my current situation. My 13 month old daughter has 1 nap a day. It can go for 30 minutes or 3 hours but she will need to be resettled every 30-50 minutes (at the end of each sleep cycle). Of a night time she’s in bed asleep by 7:30 most nights but could be earlier or later depending on the length of her daytime nap. She will be up between 4 and 7 and there is no way to predict when. And between going to bed and waking up in the morning she will wake 5-10 times. Sometimes she will sleep for just shy of 2 hours, other times 20 minutes is as good as it gets. All she could say was that sucks.

Yes it does suck. This is not just a regression. My daughter started off a pretty good sleeper. She would wake once a night maybe twice but that was it. A quick feed at each and we were done. This last under 2 weeks when she was 3 and a half months old. Since the 4 month mark we have been dealing with her horrid sleep habits.

I have seen doctors, lactation consultants, maternal health nurses, allergy specialists and even been to a sleep school. No one can agree with what is causing this, no one can give any useful advice. No one seems to be able to help. Everything they suggest we already do. The only suggestion we haven’t attempted is the cry it out method. But this is something I can’t bring myself to do. It breaks my heart to hear her cry and not be able to pick her up and comfort her. And that’s just the thought of it.

So what can I do? Not much. I have further restricted my diet in an attempt to limit any allergens from passing through the breast milk. We have a strict bedtime routine we follow. And we follow her lead when it comes to adjusting anything. If she’s falling to pieces with exhaustion we move everything forward a bit. If she woke up late from her nap, we push it back. She eats alot of food and we make sure this is good food that should keep her full.

Over 9 months of getting hardly any sleep and I’m starting to feel the effects. I get cranky and irritated by little things and get frustrated when she is fighting sleep even though we both know how tired she is. I don’t know how long it will continue to be like this and what will be the catalyst for change. All I know is I’m tired.

Posted by Mumma Bear, 18th July 2020

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