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Sadly I have a dear friend that is being manipulated by someone and cannot see it. She over dramatises her life and my friend feels bad for her and guilty. She complains about having no money and then buys herself things and goes places. My friend even gives her things and she cannot afford to be spending money on her. How do I get my friend that has a kind heart to see that she is being used?


Posted anonymously, 19th August 2016


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  • Isnt it always funny that only a third person can see things better from the outside . In the past I have always been the third person like yourself and it is great to have someone like yourself looking out for others. The problem is your friend thinks she is doing the right thing . If after talking to her , and still she cant see it , its best to let it go as you don’t want to make yourself distress. Evryone sees things differently and some are just stubborn because they want to do it themselves their own way . I find seeing less of someone is a good way to slowly and accept that she is who she is . Good luck anyway .


    • Thanks for your answer and you have some very valid points. I have to just let it be and be there when needed.

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  • I too have a friend going through a similar thing. The ones bleeding her dry are her 2 kids and partner tho. She feels bad as a mother as she was an alcoholic who abused drugs, so the kids hit the guilt button and she falls for it. Her kids are 29 and 38, old enough to look after themselves. They spend their money as they please knowing mum will fork out for necessities (there are grandkids involved too) The partner gets her to go halves, or completely pay for everything. She’s stuck at home at the moment while he holidays in Thailand. I tell her over and over ‘don’t let them do it. Don’t do it, say no’ but her guilt for the past is too much

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  • Dont stress she will see it soon enough, when this person attaches herself to someone else… and starts bleeding them dry.. I think it might be something she already knows but enjoys the friendship she gets in return..


    • Thanks for your wise words and counsel – I think you are quite right. It is just difficult to see this happen, women should support each other and not use each other.

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