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11 Comments

Having to live it myself & help a few friends try to survive it too, 1 of the hardest of life’s lessons we don’t want to experience, but more than 50% of us do, is the break down of a relationship – with kids caught in the middle. Here in Australia it doesn’t matter if your married or not, if you’ve been living together as partners for more than 12 months then there’s still processes & paperwork.

What surprised me recently was a conversation with a friend who was having a few marriage issues & I asked her about a few household bills. She had no idea! So what about your bank accounts? Again, no idea! Mortgage? Nope. I was upset & I told her so.

As a Mum, right or wrong, I feel that we never want anything to go wrong, but we also need to make sure if anything does, we can at least protect our kids. The next day this Mum had to leave the family home in a hurry, but then had to ask her husband for money so she didn’t have to take their kids to a shelter!

Mums, please always have your own bank account, your own money, your own ‘stash’ that I hope you never need to use. But, don’t be that next Mum who has no control over staying or leaving a tricky situation because you don’t have access to short term money.

As a Mum, we owe it to our kids to stand up for them, even when they don’t know it. Don’t leave the money decisions to your husband or father of your children, step up & learn or try to do the money decisions together. But always make sure you have that safety stash of cash & check that all your girlfriends have 1 too!

It only needs to be a couple of hundred dollars, but if you are thinking of leaving or that the relationship is rocky, you should be trying to put away money for rent & other living expenses as being on your own is really tuff & you don’t often get a chance to ‘put all your ducks in a row’. Most times, it happens quick, out of anger & your left cleaning up a mess. So if things are rocky, find out BEFORE it happens.

In summary, I’m trying to get all Mum’s to have their own bank accounts & access to their own money.


Posted by mom150006, 13th September 2015


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  • as much as i amazed by the article being so very, very wise, i think that it is sad that articles like this need to be written. Everybody should feel safe in their home!

    Reply

  • I have to say I agree with this as well! Very interesting!

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  • This is exactly what I’m trying to tell my daughter at the moment. She’s with a man who’s sister tells him to have joint bank accounts, to share everything. So he’s pushing for that. I’m telling her DONT! Things are great now, but you never know what is around the corner

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  • totally agree with this! It is important to have a backup

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  • I think you are spot on! Too many people I know just let the husband be in charge of everything and I would hate to see what would happen if their relationships broke down :(

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  • I totally agree, we should be involved in everything regarding the relationship. My best friends husband passed away a few years ago and she really struggled for a long time trying to sort out the paperwork and finances because he always did it. She even found out they had a personal loan that she was unaware of. It was sad to,see

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  • I agree with this.Thank you

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  • Very important – plus, we agreed early that we both needed a little money that was “mine” to spend without consultation.


    • Partnership and individuality are both important. Money for the partnership and money for self. I like to organise surprises and accessing ‘your own’ money is necessary for surprises!

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  • If people dont have there own money they do need to plan ahead, its a stressful time, when you are fighting with your partner there is no way they would give you money if they have thrown you out of the house. I argee its also great to have your own bank account so you can then easily get all the money you are earning or family payments easily paid into to the new account without any stress. Its sad but some realationships do come to a end.

    A cash stash is good to have even in everyday life, The other day i had to find $300 to pay a specilist bill and my credit card was decilinded (due to the lines been down)and we had no money left in our savings account, having The cash stash hidden at home saved me embaressment although i had to leave to get it and go back and pay.

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  • In a partnership both parties should understand finances and I agree every person should have their ‘pot’ of money too. Joint accounts for expenses and individual accounts for ‘play’ money. As you wrote – it does not need to be a lot of money.

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