I was 18 when I fell pregnant, it was grand final day 1989 & it was my first time if you get my drift.
To say I knew this person well is an untruth as I’d only met him one month prior. I decided to have the baby & another one followed, this time planned. The relationship failed 6 months later so the 2 children & I moved house.
I was 21 working 3 days a week, life was good, I was coping most days. I was on the pill as I thought best be on the safe side, 2 children at 21 was enough, my pigeon pair. It wasn’t long before I met a guy & guess what, I fell pregnant, yes on the pill so baby number 3 was on the way so here I was at 22 years old with 3 children under 3 1/2 years & as time proved with a very abusive man both mentally & physically, not just to me but ended up being so towards my 4 year old girl. I was so scared & afraid.
He is what I would call a home devil but a street angel. I should have left him before I even had my 3rd as I was hospitalised (told the doctor the good old story about falling down stairs). Being young I thought back then I can change him, I’ll be good for him but it didn’t stop. He would threaten to leave me, tell me no man will ever want me. I would be constantly covered in bruises, he always made sure they were unseen but the hardest was the mental abuse, this has scarred me somewhat.
I remember thinking this isn’t right, surely men don’t treat their women like this or if they do it’s wrong. Whereas I felt it was my doing I was slowly starting to realise it was nothing I was doing & made a decision to leave. I remember during this time he had banished (his words) me to the baby’s room for 3 weeks as there was a double bed in there so on this particular day he came home from work & after 3 weeks of not even looking at me let alone talking to me he came & put his arm around me.
Ordinarily I would have hugged him back & said sorry, for god knows why I have no idea, but this time I said in the bravest most confident voice I could find, you know how you always threaten me & say you’ll leave, well I don’t make threats, the children & I are leaving tomorrow.
We did. Unbeknownst to him I had organised a removalist van, a rental property, a school for my eldest who was going into prep, a kinder for my middle one & we were outa there.
To say our life improved is an understatement. And so it was from this point on it was the 4 of us, me & my 3 blonde cherubs.
All these years later & now at 42 I am with such an amazing man who was my boyfriend when I was 15 & he calls me & treats me like his princess. We are getting married next year, my children adore him & he treats me with nothing but love even when I don’t deserve it.
I am so glad I made that decision that day as I don’t like to think what may have eventuated if I were to stay.
Posted by sanjipanj, 9th September 2013