Hi RITI, I’ve never quite understood the tantrums in shops and with mummy but not with grandparents or daddy thing until just recently. As my mum put it “Miss 2 has become complacent with you, whatever worked for Miss 4 doesn’t work for Miss 2 so change your plan”. She couldn’t tell me what to do but I’ve worked out that Miss 4 was an old soul who at the same age you could go into detail explaining things and she understood and accepted them and on really terrible days a quick time out worked the trick. While Miss 2 is headstrong, confident and stubborn (like me), walks away from time out and screams “No” at my face. But what she actually responds well to is very brief explanations and rapid distractions – once she is calm I can then talk in more detail about her behaviour and “why I love her, but I don’t love her behaviour”.

Other advice my mum said was “pick your battles” and don’t get too hung up on having the perfectly behaved child as they are very few and far between and so long as we care and keep trying they will become gorgeous young ladies.

Posted by claret, 2nd April 2013

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  • Maybe you should ask the others to go shopping with you sometimes and see if she still throws a tantrum. Maybe the grandparents use a different “tone of voice” and she is too scared to misbehave when out with them. I know 2 kids who are like that.


  • Too true. I always try and explain to my partner to pick your battles. A messy bedroom isn’t the be all and end all. I hope I’m getting some things right


  • Love the advice about picking your battles.


  • i believe in opd souls


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