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I’m a single mum. It was never the plan. After being with my partner for three years and buying a house we had our first daughter. I know it was my plan, maybe not his. I thought having a baby would be the glue to bring us together. It was,however only the busy new life that brought us together. I was unhappy. It can be hard to admit, what about the perfect picture of family life. Then we had a second daughter.
Then I realized how lonely I was in my partnership. Going through the motions.
After five years of separation, I realize the journey of parenting in separation requires just as much maturity, communication and compromise as a marriage! Our friendship is quite strong. We rose above pettiness and self pity to thrive as a separated family. It’s not without tears and sometimes down points. I’ve learned how strong I can be. How resilient and how human I am. I don’t mind sharing difficult times. There is no perfect picture. Everyone has their own formula. As long as you’re not burying soulful sadness. Let yourself be a shining mum, whether separated or mum.


Posted anonymously, 13th April 2015


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  • It’s good to hear you are still friends. Sometimes you just can’t live together but can remain friends. No doubt when your children are old enough they will start asking questions and may ask both of you of their Dad has part custody or visits apart from when the kids are at school. That’s when they are likely to start asking. Unless you are going to explain with both of you present I suggest you discuss it with their Dad to make sure you are “both on the same page” and going to give the same or similar explanations.

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  • It was really brave of you to realise it wasn’t working. Most people would take the easy option and just be unhappy.

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  • Wow, you two have managed to achieve what most people find very very difficult.

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