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Hi Mums, I had a moment of parenting angst over the weekend and while I don’t think I am over-reacting I can’t seem to shake the cranky feeling I get whenever I think about what happened. Perhaps putting it in writing will help? I am not a huge fan of the sleep over and one of my daughters friends seems to have them all the time, not a problem in itself but I find the style of parenting at the home slightly to relaxed for my liking.
After not letting her go to one I relented this weekend with strong warnings of…if you don’t think I’d let you do it DON’T and call me if you think I should come and get you.
Now imagine my surprise when I looked on facebook to see photos of the Mum who’s house my daughter was at and her partner out to dinner in another town…..Are you kidding me! Now I am all for you having a social life BUT who is looking after my child as no mention was made of this when I dropped her off. I texted said parent who laughed it off saying they had a babysitter…..really, poor babysitter looking after her 4 and 3 extras..
Then I had the whole worry of going and getting her and ruining her socially forever and possible screaming like a banshee at the mother or spending a sleepless night waiting for her to get home. I waited and have banned sleep-overs indefinately….too much?


Posted by torien, 3rd March 2014


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  • In primary achool I wasn’t allowed to go to a friend’s place after school if her Mum wasn’t going to be home. In High School my friends and I caught the same bus home so that had to suffice during the week because we had homework to do. There was never any discussion about sleepovers.

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  • I think those parents are idiots. Who gets a babysitter when they are having a sleep over. Seems strange. But I wouldn’t ban them all together. My son adores sleep overs, but he goes to people I know well and trust. Maybe I am just lucky that I know his friends parents very well. I have absolutely no drama in him having a sleep over at any of his friends houses because I trust the parents. Maybe just no more sleep overs at this particular house.


    • I agree with your comments on this story – who has a babysitter during a sleep over. Having other children in your house requires proper parental supervision. Don’t ban all sleepovers – what happened here is far from normal.

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  • great exellent

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  • I think it was wrong of the person not to tell you what is what they where doing, I would leave it though till child comes home as you don’t want to embrace her this time

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  • I agree……if someone else child is in your care then that is exactly what it means….In your care!

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  • wow, i can’t say i would be impressed with that either.

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  • I didn’t go to sleepovers until I was at high school and they first started as birthday party sleepovers in about year 7 and 8 and then by year 9 it was more or less whenever we wanted. We did live within walking distance of my friends houses though!

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  • Hmmm.. To be honest I am paranoid about sleepoevers too…

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  • I was just discussing with a mum last night, we go through the baby stage we get the hang of that (sort of), then we go through the toddler stage (that we definitely cannot get the hang of but we do), then we get to this age and wow so many decisions, and the decisions seem harder, and more worrying…
    Hugs out to all mums who have kids and making daily decisions about what they do etc…
    My son came home last night saying he wants to go on a 2 day scout camp this weekend, I had to suck it in and say sure no problem…scary….xx

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  • i am in full agreement with you,that is not good parenting in my eyes.I have never let my kids have a sleep over due to the fact i don’t like leaving the responsibility on another person.i believe play dates are enough time to have fun

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  • My daughter is also 10, I still haven’t figured out how to politely word my argument so for the moment I have just stopped my daughter going over there. Thank you though for replying to my story, it is a better feeling getting it off my chest and realising I’m not a smother!

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  • OMG you are not overreacting in my eyes, wow how could that mum do that? I am like you I like my children at home with me and not in someone elses home. We actually let our son stay at a really good friend of ours place, a few months back and we had there daughter at our place. Prior to him going to there house we were out to dinner with them, just before we went our separate ways with different children. Anyway at dinner our son fell off and skinned the front of his chest, OMG was I worried all night YES. My son put on a brave face saying he was fine…I kept ringing, texting etc..all these bad thoughts going through my head and in fact he was fine. Not like your episode, I think I would have driven over there and explained to the mother that you trusted her to be there and she wasnt…
    By the way how old is your daughter? Ours are 10 and 7…Lots of kids do sleepovers at the school, are we being too strict (think that is the word)…
    Our children are only with us a short time then they are off into the big world, lets keep them close for a bit longer I think….!!!
    Hope you are feeling okay…

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