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14 Comments

I just want to add a short story busting open the myth of the second child being the faster learner. Since before my first child was even born I was always hearing about how the second child always learns faster since they have someone to copy and learn from. While that may be true in some areas (think tantrums and habits I have only just gotten my nearly Threenager out of like dropping food), it hasn’t been as much of a 100% guaranteed thing as I’d been led to believe. He did not crawl earlier, in fact my first crawled at 4 months, second not until about 8 months. He has not spoken/copied his words earlier, in fact he’s one and hardly talks in comparison to how much my eldest was at this point. The only things (other than learning to tantrum at quite an advanced level) that he has done faster than his older brother was starting to get teeth.
And what I realise from all this… is that I without even realising it, bought into subtly making our children into a race. A race against each other. A race they don’t even know that they are in. And I wonder WHY? Why do we do this to ourselves? Not to mention our children, under pressure from the age they “should” crawl from to do so?
Well I am now taking a step back. My children are individuals. Complete and utterly, from their distinctly different appearances to their worlds apart development. And that is OKAY! It doesn’t make me love either on any less. In fact now I am fully embracing their difference I am enjoying them more as individuals :)


Posted by angelas2013, 28th February 2014


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  • Children are all unique and individual and have their own talents and develop at a different pace.

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  • You are right, let them be. Kids learn at their own pace.

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  • Lovely message, all parents should read this as all children are different.

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  • I don;t like the idea of comparing the kids. They are all individuals and milestones have such a range. Enjoy their achievements.

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  • good on you for stepping back, and just letting it happen in their own times,


    • Being able to step back is at times the best thing to do!

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  • my second son was not a faster learner – he took his time :)

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  • every child is different but they are all prefect

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  • of cuz.. they are all unique and perfect!

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  • although my second little girl is doing better than my boy

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  • thats right, both of my kids are so different

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  • Great story the only thing my 2nd child is faster at is she learns faster then my son. That could be that she is a girl but who knows

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  • Well said. My second didn’t do anything faster either.

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  • I love the term Threenager. And it is true – every child is different and will learn at their own pace.

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