You know in your heart if it is not working out and you take action.I hope it all worked out for you and wish you all the best!

yeah that arguement does seem to go to the extreme with the real purpose of shutting down the convo. pick your battles though!. not sure what other advice to offer you.

I can imagine how tiring it is. “Forgetting” discussions is not a solution indeed. Because the problem is still there and will come out again in the future.
And personally it annoys me so much when people propose to “split” after a quarrel. After so many years together, people should be able to talk about it without thinking of escaping from the marriage.

We’ve done counselling. We’ve been together for over 27 years, we ‘get’ each other. I know the outcome, I know what to expect, I’m used to it. I’ve coped in the past, but now I’m just so tired, I’m older and getting too tired. I’m not sure where to go or what to do anymore

Sorry to hear that things are tough for you. Maybe seeing a counsellor will help? Maybe for you? Maybe for you and your hubby? Maybe letting him know that you need to talk about things and want the relationship to work. Look after your yourself.

It really hard to know what to say to this – sounds very hard and frustrating for you. Sounds as though some form of counselling could help – if you both want that. If its always the same things that bring in the ultimatum, then perhaps you need to decide whether your relationship is more important than the small stuff – just a thought. Maybe if you alone sought expert help, that could be enough to help you make clear and well considered decisions. Really feel for you – stay strong.