I sort out wound up a stay at home mum through odd circumstances. I had been in my job for several months when I very very unexpectedly fell pregnant. At the 20 week scan, I had some complications requiring a weeks stay in hospital, and the end of which I was told not to go back to work til after bubs was born. I did not hear anything at all from any of my work collegues or bosses until I received an appalling letter saying as bubs was due one week before my one year anniversary with the company I was not entitled to any form of paid or unpaid maternity leave, and if I did not return to work basically as soon as bubs was born they would not hold my job, plus I would have to pay back a months worth of wages… The shock of this letter actually triggered further complications! I did not know what to do or how to respond, so I kind of just left it. After bubs was born, it just all seemed so irrelevant, and I really did not want to work for someone who would treat me like that, so I just let it go. I never heard from them again….

Since then my husband quit his job and started his own business, so was home a lot more for her first year. Sadly the business started going a bit badly, so he has just started work full time again, but he would much prefer I stay at home with her.For us, she was so unexpected that she just seems far more important than earning a quid. I would rather go without all the treats – dinners, holidays etc, as to me she is worth that sacrifice.

I can truly understand Mums going back to work as they have no other choice financially, but when it is to support a fancy lifestyle I do not see the good in that!

Posted by katelt, 16th April 2013

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  • For some people it’s about other things like mental sanity.


  • Sorry that it didn’t end up being a ‘choice’ for you. Being a SAHM is awesome and you only get this chance right now to do it…work and money will always have it’s place in the future.


  • I do permanent part time work, 8 hours a week. It’s a good way to get to stay home with the kids most of the time but still help out money wise


  • What a terrible work place! Fancy saying that to you!! Sone people are so heartless. Glad to see you coped though and are doing ok


  • I’m a stay at home mum, til my youngest turned 3, then I found part time work. Was great, wouldn’t change any of it


  • so great to read


  • nice story to have a read


  • Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.


  • I’m a stay at home mum who has put on hold a career – sometimes it is really hard to decide whether to work or stay home – for me, staying home has been difficult, as I feel guilty I’m not at work, helping finance the household.
    I really feel sad for my hubby – he runs his own business, is very stressed and busy, and I feel lazy…. Even though I make sure he doesn’t have to cook/clean/do washing etc, I feel like I should do more. It’s not about a fancy lifestyle – returning to work, for me, would be my way of trying to take some of the pressure off my hubby.


  • The stay at home versus going back to work shouldn’t be a debate, it should just be a choice that is made and no one should need justify their choice.

    Just one thing though, your last comment about no choice financially and to support a fancy lifestyle – I disagree with that as many mums go back to work not because they have to financially but because they want to and that’s their right and it doesn’t mean that working mums are supporting a fancy lifestyle…just saying.


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