I am currently going through a Domestic Violence situation. I was in the relationship for 6 years and separated so far for 3 1/2. this is such a long story and i don’t really know where to start. I am 26 and have two beautiful daughters. I have only just started to bring myself out of the DV cycle and trying to regain control of my life. The hard part is my eldest daughter has witnessed so much and now that her father is not allowed near us, she is torn with her emotions. I am so worried about her. as much as she is better off without the situation, i feel horrible that she is in this situation. before anyone says it, I have heard it all, “it is not your fault”, “it was his choice” etc etc. I truly understand this and i realise that he was violent and he was bad for our children and myself but i can’t help but feel guilty.
the point of this story is that after mediation that my ex partner asked for was agreed upon in court i honestly believed that we would make a parenting plan and he would see the kids supervised and that would be it. maybe my head is still stuck in the DV cycle, i’m not sure. i really got the wake up call of my life.
everything we have been through and putting the children through all that is a major concern. we’re now seeing counselors and various other DV groups. it is so hard and i really am starting to realise why so many people just give up.
the wake up call was a massive shock…she said to me that if i cared enough about my children like i say i do then what am i willing to do…
i sat there thinking i would do anything to protect my children but am now faced with the fact that i am going to have to fight to the death and make sure i have affidavits and tonnes of evidence to support my claims…
i have the proof but even after everything i am feeling the guilt that he will loose his job, he will loose everything. i don’t understand why i feel so bad and it really hurts taking my children’s father away. i am so confused. any advice would be great because i’m just going through everything over and over in my head and i’m lost
Posted by rangamum, 5th October 2013