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My daughter has been with the same sporting organisation for 2 years & I’m yet to make a single friend there apart from the coach (who is everyone’s friend) :( The mums who work behind the scenes are very close and although they advertise for help from other parents are not friendly or welcoming. I volunteered at their last fundraiser as a way of making friends but NO ONE spoke to me, other than to tick my name of the list. We have to travel interstate for competitions and I always feel lost and not part of the group. When we are asked to wait as a team, the mums segragate in to groups depending on the private schools that their children attend. My daughter attends a public school and I struggle to pay her sporting fees, but do everything I can because I know she loves doing what she’s doing. I donate from my small business to all their raffles, I go out of my way to be an extra pair of hands when they need something done but still everyone just keeps to their own groups :( I’ve already decided that we’re leaving the team at the end of the year, if I could leave sooner I would but I have a contract with the team because of the interstate travel involved that we remain a part of the team until the end of the year. I just don’t feel welcome though & my daughter has mentioned that she feels the same way. It’s hard because she loves what she does and she trains hard to be apart of the team, but we just don’t feel like we belong. Living in a rural area we don’t have the options to change to another team, so leaving the team, means leaving the sport. Are most sporting team mums this way or just our team?


Posted anonymously, 1st July 2014


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  • I also found it always the same Mums who make the effort to help with various things including transporting players between locations of matches. My Mum had to miss one week and although we made it known a few weeks in advance so that another parent would volunteer, she had to personally approach people and explain the reason. My Mum had been doing it for 5 years. Immediately after that an eldery relative passed away and we were caring for the one left behind. I had already decided I wanted to pursue a different interest so I didn’t play the following season. My new interest didn’t involve needing transport. They all turned their backs on us and wouldn’t talk to us or invite us to other “dos” after that. My Mum was disppointed as she had often helped the same Mums in different ways. The same thing happened in the team my younger brother was playing in. He was younger than others in the team so was often reserve. Even matches they were so far ahead in the last 5 minutes that they couldn’t lose the coach favoured the older taller players. He got disheartened and didn’t want to play after that. Dad took the boys on alternate weeks. Luckily we played away matches on different weeks as we only had one car. Dad continued helping at the small kid’s gym club so he was snubbed as much.

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  • I know I have said this before but these type of people give me the sh .ts. These snobs are not worthy of your good company and generosity. I KNOW WHAT IT CAN BE LIKE. .You deserve a lot better! Blow them!!

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  • why not go and say hi! get in and start a convo

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  • I think that there are Clicks everywhere… and i think maybe your a little shy like me.

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  • We experienced a coach that picked favourites and excluded. He humiliated some children and parents and called people “losers”; both verbally and via email. We left as this toxic person was damaging to the development of children. We found other groups with the right and inclusive attitude. Wishing you the best. :)

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  • Unfortunately this does happen in some groups; disappointing. Hope you both have success in finding a new and welcoming group. :)

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  • Oh that’s just awful. How hard is it to let new people in? I find it is quite difficult though. After 3 terms of doing ballet with the same group I’ve just started talking to some of the other Mums now – at the beginning all of us just talked to who we knew. But once we started talking to the others we find they are all quite nice.

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  • This is par for the course, you are not alone. Clicky little mummy groups tick me off.

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  • Sadly this is very common. I don’t understand why some women are like this, they don’t let a new woman in. Hopefully your daughter will find a nicer team.

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  • Thats so awful that people well mums of all people can make someone feel this way.
    If it were me i would be writing a letter to the coach now telling her that your daughter will no longer be apart of the team as of next year and outline your reasons and make sure you mention how the other mums make you feel.
    Hopefully your daughter finds another sport that she can do and you will feel more welcome.

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  • a big fat Boooooo to all those mums, they don’t sound like people worth being friends with anyway. I would leave the group, its ruining the whole experience of the sport for you and your daughter!! Noone should be made to feel left out, thats so rude!! i hope your beautiful daughter finds a new group or sport she loves!

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  • Don’t offer a helping hand again if they’re just going to throw it back in your face. If I were going through the same thing I would’ve pulled my daughter out or definitely end it after the contract because I would not want my daughter to feel unwelcome or feel uninvited to something she loves. Show her that her happiness comes first even if it means leaving something she loves. It’ll show her there’s something better out there where she will be appreciated and your efforts will go unnoticed. They sound stuck up to me and I think you’re better than that

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  • There are some nasty mums out there that can cause this issue..try and get one if the other mums on her and and try and make friends that way.. If they keep grouping together talk to the coach, you should have to take you daughter out. And truthfully stop going out of your way for them. They will soon care if you stop

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