I have a 19 month old son who was conceived with the assistance of fertility medication. We had a 5 year journey of ups and downs, grief, depression, longing, heart ache, and many moments being overwhelmed at the thought of possibly never conceiving. I had always dreamed of being a Mum, and it was the only thing I was ever sure I wanted. We were incredibly blessed to conceive our son, then have a text book pregnancy. Our son is such an amazing little person and we are just in awe of him. Anyway, 18 months later and we are wanting to expand our family more. But I still have the same issues as before, only now we have less funds due to me not yet going back to work. I am trying my hardest not to return to the dark places I found myself in before conceiving our son, but in the last week or so I have found myself feeling broken again. It’s not as bad as before, because we have an incredible son already who keeps my spirits high and laughter in our home. But I want more… I absolutely hate when people say”You have one son, you should be happy, it’s more than some”. I am happy, I am blessed, I love our son more than anything…but that doesn’t stop the desire any. People can sometimes forget that not everyone feels the same way about things. For me, I feel broken, my body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do, and because of that I can’t fulfill my dreams easily. I am thinking we will have to seek treatment again, but due to less funds…I don’t know when that will be. I’ll be 29 this year. Anyway, just wanted to share a little of my journey in case anyone else feels similar, you can know you’re not alone, you’re not the only one who is travelling this journey. It’s not easy, and each journey is unique, but you’re definitely NOT alone!!
Posted by mum2nim, 14th May 2013