Just wondering, my baby daughter left home at 21, I am very proud of her, she commenced full time uni and then got a full time job in her field, went part time and is due to complete her degree this semester, last year she worked full time and full time uni, but I constantly get messages to do things and arrange things for her, organise hire cars, amend appointments, pick up shopping, I still have 2 at home as well as a hubby, she even went overseas last year got caught in a snow storm and called to see if she should go to the airport or what should she do, she is 25 in a couple of months, I am just wondering when they grow up and become more independent, it is lovely that she communicates with me and we do have a great relationship but I want to retire!!

Posted by mom109463, 11th February 2015

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  • Lol, like my mum always says, she will never be able to retire because even when my siblings and I dnt depend on her our kids will.


  • when do children grow up


  • Ha ha ha. I think it’s lovely she still needs mum. I don’t think kids ever grow up in the eyes of mum


  • I only have younger kids but when I look at my brothers, they always seek emotional support and recommendations from my parents – it just depends on the person. Maybe for the less life threatening things you could throw back to her ‘ what do you think’ and ‘ go with your instinct’ and ‘ you are a smart girl, I’m sure you will make the right choice’


  • I still call my mum and ask silly questions.


  • Having had 3 sons which I did absolutely everything for them when they lived at home, I’m really proud of how they have all turned out. They now can all cook, clean, wash clothes & are all wonderful hands on father’s! Good luck with your daughter, maybe when she is in a relationship & then the kiddies arrive she’ll have to take control.


  • I would think that although I’m 40 my mum would say the same thing sometimes! Although maybe your daughter is taking it a little far. I would think if you have a good relationship you just need to tell her how you feel.


  • I think it is time to call a meeting and let her know enough is enough. I think once you have done that things will start to change


  • At this age I agree she should be making her own appointments and doing her own chores too. Seeking your support and advice when overseas is somewhat different as obviously she values your judgment and counsel. Parents are still needed when children need help in times of illness or crisis; however at other times they need to be independent. Regarding support and advice; I think that goes on forever! :)

    • I think you are right, I still call mum for advice and recipes LOL, but oh some days I am busy and I really do not have time to chase up her things, I know she is busy as well, I dread the day she has childen as I know she will be relying on me more, lovely to have a good relationship but I need my time, I have done my bit and got her to adulthood!!!

      • Absolutely! you have done your job in raising her to adulthood and need your time too. Being a Grandma will be another situation; but as you say they will be your daughter’s children. Motherhood changes everything again; it changes your mother/daughter relationship too. Your daughter will then have a better understanding of your job! Good luck with making and taking some time for yourself! :)


  • I think she won’t grow up until you insist she do things for herself.


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